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|Written by Miss Smartypants|
|Monday, 08 February 2010 00:00|
Dear Miss Smartypants,
Do I have to do something with my partner for Valentine's Day? My boyfriend and I have been together for about six months now. I've never liked Valentine's Day, and having a boyfriend doesn't make me any more inclined to do something for it than I was before. He's marginally more romantic than I am, so I'm worried that the day means more to him than it does to me (we're both more the type to be moved by someone remembering your favourite kind of cookie than spontaneously bringing flowers home). I'm also worried that if I try to get at his feelings about it with a leading question like, "What do you want to do for Valentine's Day?" it will put pressure on him to do something extravagant. I'd rather just sit at home and watch HBO. How do I approach the situation?
It's a Work Night Anyway
If you don't like Valentine's Day, just say so. Six months is long enough that you should feel comfortable acting like yourself in relationship. Sit your boyfriend down and ask him if he already has something planned for Valentine's Day. If he doesn't and you get the sense that he now feels pressure to, explain that you've never been one for making a big deal about St. Valentine's martyrdom. Make sure he believes you. Then, if you discover it is important to him to mark the occasion, find a compromise activity. If he does have something planned, try to have an open mind about it. You might find that you like it. If you don't and you make it to this time next year, sit him down in January and tell him you don't want to make as big a deal about Valentine's Day this year. Relationships are about compromise. If you can last 18 months, you'll have learned that lesson ten times over.