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Home Advice Ask Miss Smartypants - July 13, 2009

Ask Miss Smartypants - July 13, 2009

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Written by Miss Smartypants   
Monday, 13 July 2009 06:33

outside
Art: Nina Charest
It's the Sex issue, so guess what kind of questions Miss Smartypants is answering this month! Send yours (on topic or not) to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

Dear Miss Smartypants, 

My boyfriend has a penchant for the type of thing you can only do on or after the first of May.  We've tried parks, waterfronts, the woods by a friend's cottage . . . but I can never get into it.  Something about the dark, being starkers in the chilly night air, the hard ground that bruises my back, and the croaking creepy crawlies, well, it all just throws me off!  The fantasy appeals to me when I'm in the comfort of my own bed, but I don't know how to make it work. 

Out in the Cold

Dear Large House Blend,

Just because it's the first of May doesn't mean you have to start today. You can start the first of June, or the first of July, or even the first of August, when it's a hell of a lot warmer outside than the first of May. That should alleviate some of the issues. I also don't understand why you need to be completely starkers or why you have to be in the dark. As for creepy crawlies, your guide advised you to bring a blanket and brush the ants off. Your boyfriend needs to pay better attention. So why not start with the porch of the cottage rather than the woods and work your way further out?

Lady Who Sells Ice Cream,

Smartypants

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