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|Written by Miss Smartypants|
|Wednesday, 22 June 2011 00:00|
Dear Miss Smartypants,
I've been listening to Manners for the Digital Age, and the May 31st answer has been gnawing at me for a while now. Farhad and Prudie get off on tangents about guest lists and throwing good parties. What I still can't figure out is if it's good or bad manners to bcc invitees/hide a guest list. Which is it?
I've heard that one, too, and, while I like that they never seem to agree, they actually miss the larger point: it's rude to give away other people's contact information without their permission. By all means, use the to: field for three or four friends getting together for after work patio time. But a guest list of 50 people? Completely inappropriate. Not all of these people know each other well enough to want to be in contact with one another (especially through a series of inane reply-alls. "See you then!" "Looking forward to it!"). Think about it this way: you meet a creeper at a friend's big bash. Because all the attendees are public, the creeper can email you and parlay that info into finding you on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, etc. Suddenly someone you could have brushed off with a fake number is everywhere.
If you don't want that to happen to you or someone you know, use the bcc. It's that simple.
Tags: advice, ask miss smartypants, contact info, creepers, etiquette, guest list, possibility, silly prudie