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|Written by Miss Smartypants|
|Monday, 09 November 2009 00:00|
Dear Miss Smartypants,
Do friendships have term limits? A friend and I used to be very close, but now I only see him socially a few times a year (we live in different cities). We were friends in college. The further we get from graduation, the clearer it is how little he's matured in the interim. He's obnoxious. He embarrasses himself and me when we're out together. To be honest, if it weren't for a mutual friend, I would have dropped his ass years ago. Can I still do that? Should I say something about the bad behaviour and see if he changes? It's not like I don't remember why I liked him in the first place. It's just that he needs to grow up.
Two terms might be my limit
Dear Expiration Date,
Yes, some friendships should come labelled with best before dates. Think about people you were close with during elementary school or the people who seemed like your best friends in the world for a few weeks at camp every summer. Some friendships just aren't built to last. Confess your feelings about the obnoxious friend to your mutual friend. Maybe s/he feels the same way or knows something you don't. Ask if s/he has ever talked to him about the behaviour that sets you off. Perhaps you could confront him together. That said, don't expect him to change, especially since you've been friends with him for about a decade and you haven't mentioned it before. Also, if embarrassment is only problem, perhaps you can stand to be embarrassed a couple of times a year. After all, putting up with people you don't care for in social situations is part of adulthood as well. And if you can't stand it, you are free to leave or make alternate arrangements.