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|Written by April Yorke|
|Friday, 30 April 2010 00:00|
A year ago, four (Cult)ure writers bravely selected 10 actors to fill out a fantasy Hollywood studio. This year, we've got a winner in place. Well, winners. We're egalitarian like that. First, let's review how we got here.
Team Kevin: 1) Cate Blanchett, 2) Brad Pitt, 3) Kate Winslet, 4) Edward Norton, 5) Leonardo DiCaprio, 6) James Franco, 7) Elizabeth Banks, 8) Sean Penn, 9) Maggie Gyllenhaal, 10) Gillian Anderson
Team Steve: 1) Javier Bardem, 2) Daniel Day-Lewis, 3) Benicio Del Toro, 4) Jeff Bridges, 5) Christian Bale, 6) Michelle Williams, 7) Gwyneth Paltrow, 8) George Clooney, 9) Philip Seymour Hoffman, 10) Al Pacino
Team April: 1) Robert Pattinson, 2) Johnny Depp, 3) Robert Downey Jr., 4) Angelina Jolie, 5) Helen Mirren, 6) Taylor Kitsch, 7) Paul Rudd, 8) Mark Strong, 9) Catherine Keener, 10) Simon Pegg
Team Joe: 1) Meryl Streep, 2) Channing Tatum, 3) Rachel McAdams, 4) Ryan Gosling, 5) Joseph Gordon-Levitt, 6) Ben Foster, 7) Kristen Bell, 8) Amanda Seyfried, 9) Gael García Bernal, 10) Jesse Eisenberg
There are a lot of factors and sources to consider in picking a winner, so we limited ourselves to IMDb for the award and box office information and only the most cursory gossip blog serches for the public points.
N.B. View complete breakdowns (PDF) by clicking on the team name.
Public points breakdown:
Cate Blanchett = 0
Public points breakdown:
Javier Bardem = 0
Public Points breakdown:
Robert Pattinson: +1 for finally winning Kristen Stewart, -1 for rumours he's her beard, -1 for claiming to be "allergic to vaginas" = -1
Box Office: $1,372,094,947
Acting Points: 170
Picture Points: 105
Public Points: 5
Public points breakdown:
Meryl Streep: + 1 for receiving Order Of Chevalier Des Arts Et Des Lettres = 1
Total = 5
Acting, Picture, and Public Points: Team Steve
Between George Clooney and Jeff Bridges (Steve: "Yes! Jeff Bridges, baby!!!"), Steve managed to rack up an astonishing number of acting and picture awards as well as public points. Of course, when you fill your studio with as many cool cats as Steve did, that's to be expected. I have no idea what kind of voodoo magic Steve worked to pick the two most celebrated actors of the last year, but I'd like to. Though he may not have the dosh of my or Joe's studios, a respectable $663 million makes him the Focus Features of our lot. Not quite what we were expecting from Sausage Studios.
Box Office: Team April
I took a few knocks last year for my first pick in our Hollywood Fantasy Studio Draft: crazy Robert Pattinson. I had but one goal in mind: crass commercialism. I was certain that even if no one else did, Von Pattinson would bring in the big bucks. And you know what? I was right. While I didn't have the foresight to draft Sam Worthington or Zoë Saldana (or both), I still outpaced my nearest box office competitor by more than $750 million. Not bad for someone who drafted Angelina Jolie only to have her not put out a single movie or for my dearth of public points. I'm Summit Entertainment: suddenly flush with cash, I'll greenlight just about anything (which explains Remember Me as much as it does The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus)
Movies: Team Joe
Joe's team is the hardest working one on the lot. They appeared in 23 movies over the last year, four more than his closest competitor and more than three times as many as the lowest score. Team Joe was also a solid second for box office, acting awards, and picture awards, thanks in large part to Meryl Streep (Joe: "I love that I was saved by Meryl Streep!") and no thanks to picking two of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra's stars. Team Joe is a combination of a major studio and its boutique imprint like 20th Century Fox and Fox Searchlight.
Largely because his team produced all of six movies last year, Team Kevin lagged behind in every single category. He scored a minor victory in public points, coming in second with six. In fact, James Franco, Kevin's sixth pick, had the single highest public points score with three. Given this level of failure, Team Kevin is MGM.
Sadly, no one offered any of us the reigns to a studio over the course of the last year, so this experiment ends here. Seriously, though, George Clooney and Jeff Bridges? Steve is a genius.
With additional files from Emily Goodacre.
Tags: 20th century fox, cinema, focus features, fox searchlight, george clooney, hollywood fantasy draft, hoyay, james franco, jeff bridges, meryl streep, mgm, play, robert pattinson, summit entertainment
Indeed, even though everyone made fun of Steve for picking Jeff Bridges, he was this year's awards darling, but I think April may have had even more foresight in picking Mark Strong. Most people still won't know who he is, but if you clarify "he was the bad guy in everything this year" they'd be like "ohhhhh".