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|Written by April Yorke|
|Monday, 02 January 2012 00:00|
Each month, (Cult)ure movie nerd April Yorke chats with Mayfair co-owner and geek-in-chief Josh Stafford about what's playing at Ottawa's home of stuff you won't see anywhere else. For January, we talked about mayhem at the Mayfair, placed our bets on Bonds in a fight, and listed all the hottest must-sees for today's young cult leaders.
(Cult)ure: So, I think you better explain this Crispin Glover situation because I can hardly believe it myself.
JS: Crispin Glover invades the Mayfair for two days in January. Over the two nights, it's two different films, two different slideshows, Q and A, and book signing for all.
(C): And it's licensed.
JS: Yes, which will either help or hinder in understanding everything that is going on.
(C): So, two different films, two different slideshows, Q and As, books signing, AND alcohol? Are you concerned about MAYHEM?
JS: I don't think Crispin fans are mayhem people. Eccentric and weird, but I don't think it could be any more insane than Tommy Wiseau.
(C): Hmm, that is a different type of crazy. Though I think I will be disappointed if there is not a duel or at least an offer of one.
JS: If he doesn't attack me David Letterman-style, it will all be for naught.
(C): Pretty much, yeah.
JS: I just hope he'll sign my Charlie's Angels DVD.
(C): YES! I think he will.
JS: Well, he approved our Mayfair poster to publicize the event, and that picture is from Charlie's Angels.
(C): There you have it. You know what I think the opposite of Crispin Glover is? Gone With The Wind.
JS: We're showing Gone With The Wind now due to its availability, but I'm sure it will get a lot of votes in our 80th anniversary poll.
(C): What's that?
JS: Between May and December, we'll be showcasing the best films from the 1930s through 2000s since December 2012 is the Mayfair's 80th anniversary. Mayfair patrons can vote for their favorite films of each decade, and we will be showing a Fan's Choice pick once a month along with the rest of the month's special programing.
(C): Will the special programming include other "decade" films?
JS: Precisely. In January through April, we'll have other fun stuff, too, of course. And as I always remind people, we cannot get Star Wars movies or Disney movies, so as much as we would love to show it, don't throw away your 80s vote with Empire Strikes Back.
(C): To tell the truth, I am kind of excited to see Gone With The Wind on the big screen. I love Viven Leigh.
JS: It's a rare movie to see big screen-style that has an intermission.
(C): If you ask me, more movies should have them.
JS: That would be fine by me. We had one on 2001; everyone went and bought more food on the break!
(C): Movies should take into consideration the holding capacity of the average human bladder in comparison to the average drink size purchased and plan accordingly. Science!
JS: Especially now that thanks to Peter Jackson, Hollywood is fine with super long movies.
(C): Well, they still have time to put one in The Hobbit. Meanwhile, I'm very excited about Take Shelter. I love Michael Shannon.
JS: It looks hilarious! Oh wait . . . No, it looks great but heavy drama kinda stuff and possibly shades of indie sci-fi.
(C): Yes, but what else are you going to do with him?
JS: Yeah, no fun times for Michael Shannon.
(C): I don't even think he's human. I think he's lightening in human form.
(C): Yes! Secret is out, Michael.
JS: There's more weird non-lightsabre indie sci-fi with Melancholia, too.
(C): Personally I think a new bride dissatisfied with Alexander Skarsgård is well and truly sci-fi.
JS: I'm a little frightened of it since Antichrist scarred me for life. And I'm genuinely not convinced that Lars Von Trier isn't a raving out of control lunatic that must be stopped. Supposedly this one doesn't have horribly brutal violence, though.
(C): I think he satisfied himself this time with ending the world instead of just torturing individual people.
JS: I can't imagine having to work under direction of a crazy person for a couple months, but Kirsten Dunst got an award from Cannes for this one, so that's a weird juxtaposition of being awarded as an actresses for a movie by a guy who hates women. But I think this movie doesn't have scenes which will make people in the audience scream in terror.
(C): I don't know. I might scream in terror if another planet took out our own.
JS: Well, in Antichrist, I heard some women actually scream. Like terrified run from the theatre kinda scream. It was pretty rough stuff to be fair to them.
(C): It's tough because I don't like spoilers, but I feel like you should know that stuff going in, like when I saw people bring kids to Pan's Labyrinth.
JS: Warning, Antichrist is really crazy violent. Well, they're just dumb. It was pretty clear that that movie wasn't Little Mermaid.
(C): I tried to let them know as much by vigorously shaking my head.
JS: That's like people who bring kids to see Kick Ass 'cause it's a super hero movie.
(C): Oh, people.
JS: Guillermo Del Toro + Doug Jones playing monsters = awesome.
(C): But not for the kiddies.
(C): But what about Beetlejuice? Are the kiddies ready for that?
JS: It's only PG, depends on the kid really. I saw it in theatres when I was a kid and loved it. Some kids enjoy slightly darker stuff, some get nightmares from it.
(C): Good starter for kids to ready to branch out?
JS: Watch Pee Wee first. It has a couple scary lil' Tim Burton moments. Then watch Beetlejuice.
(C): It's a graduated program you're offering.
JS: And remember, the lyrics to every Danny Elfman score is to repeat his name over and over.
JS: Try it. It works. Though then you'll never be able to stop. Beetlejuice is fun to watch, especially considering that's the gig that got Tim Burton and Michael Keaton Batman.
(C): Oh, man, do I ever love that Batman.
JS: Me, too, but you watch Beetlejuice and it's like . . ."Harry Belafonte score, sex crazed ghost, creepy stop motion. Hmm, yes, Batman!"
(C): Exactly. All those things scream, "Caped crusader!"
JS: It's also interesting to see Tim Burton do an original script since almost all his stuff comes based on something else. If Beetlejuice were done today, he'd cast Johnny Depp, and we would be deprived of the genius of Michael Keaton.
(C): Which is a crime against nature.
JS: And skinny Alec Baldwin.
(C): And Geena Davis! Don't forget about Geena.
JS: And Canadian genius Catherine O'Hara.
(C): Really, it's wrong not to see it.
JS: Indeed. And Pee Wee is out just in time to coincide with [the character's] in-the-process return. I think his Broadway show just came out on Blu-ray. And there's a Judd Apatow movie in pre-production.
(C): Very fine indeed. For the bigger kiddies, you're going Bond.
JS: It's our fourth annual Bond fest. There's Connery and Moore. I like that we managed to get the George Lazenby one, though. His solo Bond outing. The programming for this year sticks to the more classic era. No Timothy Dalton or Pierce Bronson.
(C): What if you can only see one? Which should you see?
JS: It's either the silliness of outer space-ing Bond in Moonraker or the Connery-ness of Goldfinger.
(C): It's hard not to like the Connery-ness of anything with Connery.
JS: Yup. Everyone playing the role forever is in the shadow on Connery. I think Daniel Craig is the first one that might hold his own against Connery in a fight.
(C): Hmm, that's true. I mean, I like Pierce Brosnan, but I couldn't imagine him fighting dirty.
JS: He'd wreck him.
(C): Craig's Bond is a thug.
JS: Roger Moore would be screwed.
(C): He would run and hide behind Q.
JS: Yes, Connery Bond was a lil bad with the violent issues. Slapping people around and making snide jokes about it!
(C): Yup, that's pretty much right. You know, there was a time when people thought Gerard Butler would be the next Bond.
JS: Segue!! And now instead he is the Machine Gun Preacher. Best title for a true story ever. I remember reading about it ages ago, before knowing what it was and thinking, "This sounds like a cool retro exploitation kinda movie that we could show as a midnight movie." Then it ends up it's an acclaimed true story from the director of Monster's Ball . . . with guns.
(C): It's exactly that. Making it all the more exciting to see.
JS: The fun of a grindhouse movie mixed with a valuable poignant message.
(C): About the importance of gun maintenance for preachers.
JS: And killing bad guys, Gerard Butler-style.
(C): What other style could there be for today's young preachers? . . . Unless they are young cult leaders, in which case you have Martha Marcy May Marlene as a guide.
JS: MMMM is interesting to see on the heels of Red State. It was a cult movie, too, just a different genre skew to it. What the?! The actress is an Olsen twin sister!
(C): Younger sister. She's AMAZING in it. And so beautiful. You spend a lot of time in the movie just staring at her.
JS: And I like Sarah Paulson, too.
(C): She never gets enough good parts.
JS: She was in this great short lived Sam Raimi series called American Gothic. And she's in Serenity for two seconds.
(C): I know, and she tortured herself by being on Studio 60.
JS: I liked that show!
(C): Really? The whole time?
JS: Uhm . . . maybe. I like Chandler and some other people on it.
(C): I like Bradley Whitford and Nate Corddry a lot, but it's a pretty good case in point of Sorkin's woman problem.
JS: She's better off in MMMM.
(C): Exactly. She gets to be married to Hugh Dancy! But seriously, She and Olsen are great together. It's a really well drawn sister relationship.
JS: On the other hand, if you really want to be offended by portrayal of women in film, do not miss Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS.
(C): I do want to be offended by such a thing. Tell me more.
JS: It's a true grindhouse exploitation film of the 70s, right up Quentin Tarantino's alley. A Nazi women in prison film.
(C): With a she wolf.
JS: The evil buxom blonde prison warden star of the film.
(C): Does she prey on her lady prisoners?
JS: She tortures them to prove that women are as strong as men and therefore should be allowed to serve alongside men on the front lines. Girl power!
(C): How could that possibly contain a bad message for the ladies?
JS: It's a regular Norma Rae! With slight more exploitative offensive lesbian torture prison overtones.
(C): It IS a women's prison, after all.
JS: Practically a true story. Maybe.
(C): Hard to say for sure.
JS: Anonymous is also maybe a true story.
(C): Except not. No offense, but Oxfordians are nuts. And classist.
JS: I'm more interested in the movie 'cause it's directed by that guy who always does end of the world blow stuff up movies, and I don't think there's an alien invasion climax in this one.
(C): Nope, though the trailer does have loads of people running around and attacking, but I don't think he can get away with fully blowing shit up.
JS: I would be very impressed if the twist ending was aliens attack and Shakespeare saves the day.
(C): OR Shakespeare was an alien!
JS: I knew it!
(C): That's how he could invent new words!
JS: It all makes sense.
(C): Well, I'm glad we've finally settled that debate.
JS: My new script is called Alien Shakespeare. It's Independence Day meets Anonymous.
(C): Sweet. Who does Will Smith play?
(C): Yes. And who plays his sidekick, for he is in need of one?
JS: Jean Claude Van Damme.
JS: Green light. 150 million dollar budget.
(C): 450 gross, easy.
JS: You're welcome, Hollywood.
Josh Stafford also programs the annual festivals 'Killer 63' and 'Fake Trailers, Reel Festival.' Life highlights include: having a letter read on-air by David Letterman, shaking hands with Bruce Campbell, going to the mall where Dawn of the Dead was shot, going to the graveyard where Night of the Living Dead was shot, and being killed by Jango Fett in a Star Wars comic. Josh watches a lot of movies, reads a lot of comics, and loves roller derby.
April Yorke prefers quoting TV shows to nearly any other form of communication, thinks roller derby is the only excuse for not going to the movies more often, and finds that buying more shelves is the best way to deal with her book-buying habit. You can reach her at april[at]culturemagazine[dot]ca.
Tags: alien shakespeare, anger, cinema, josh will be attacked, like norma rae but with slight more exploitative offensive lesbian torture prison overtones, oxfordians are classist nutters, roger moore would be screwed, science!, viven leigh is the best