Reviews of Jay Brannan, Madonna, Marina & the Diamonds, and Patrick Watson

RuPaul's Drag Race: The Fabulous Bitch Ball 

Last week, the ladies (including a briefly re-appearing Kenya Michaels) got to frock some dads, with mixed results. The incoherent Kenya Michaels was sent home again, and no one cares again. The girls talk briefly about how Latrice has been in the bottom twice, but also about how Chad has never had to lip sync for his liiife. To be fair to Sharon, she only had to in that Frenemies week where she was relying on her arch-enemy, Phi Phi O'Hara. 

The mini challenge sees the girls doing a puppet show featuring one of their fellow competitors. Sharon Needles kills with her Chad Michaels puppet. Latrice's Sharon routine is a little uninspired. Chad talks about Phi Phi's snuggle tooth, and rightly points out that America isn't going to enjoy Phi Phi. Phi Phi does do a decent job of sending up Latrice for being "the Barry White of drag" and for having jewellery bust on the mainstage. Chad wins the mini challenge. 

The main challenge for the week is to draw inspiration from a canine companion and create three different looks. The categories are Daytime Dog Park, Pooch in a Purse, and Canine Couture. After Ru visits the workroom to check on the progress, he announces that the ladies will also have to produce a Broadway-style dance routine ("Think CATS, but, you know, dogs"). Chad Michaels is in charge of the Broadway number, and all of the girls feel like they have too much to do. Their one rehearsal is fraught with disagreements and Phi Phi bitching. 

Latrice Royale (and Babyface, a small red dog)

Daytime Dog Park: Latrice's daytime look is not that great. It does look like something a bigger gal would wear in the daytime, but there is nothing fabulous about it. Her hair is also too flat. 

Pooch in a Purse (party girl): Latrice's party girl is a bit better. The top is a gold sparkly halter that works, but the skirt is a really tight mini that doesn't fit well. It is all stretched in the wrong places. 

Canine Couture: Her couture look is really awful. It is a rust orange gown that is fully sleeved and to the ground. The neck is lined with some gross fur, too. Really not a good look to end on here. 

Chad Michaels (and Filan, a reddish Chinese crested)

Daytime Dog Park: Cher's (I mean Chad's) daytime look is ok. It is cute enough as an outfit, but fairly boring. She really looks like Cher in that wig. 

Pooch in a Purse (party girl): Chad's party girl is really more of a party woman. She says she is "serving Kardashian realness", but she looks pretty old in this look. 

Canine Couture: Chad's couture look is a bit weird. She says she is channeling Cruella DeVille, and I guess I can see that. I think the problem is that Cruella isn't a couture look. 

Sharon Needles (and Callie, a white standard poodle)

Sharon appears to be struggling with this challenge. She (apparently) isn't a sewer, and she is just tired out. She also predicts that she won't be in the top three, which is odd for her. 

Daytime Dog Park: Sharon's daytime look is the most normal thing we have ever seen her in. She looks like bitch walking her dog, and I mean that as a compliment. 

Pooch in a Purse (party girl): Sharon's party girl look is really amazing. She totally looks like a combination of Lindsay Lohan and one of the Olsen twins. She even has the ankle monitor…classic Needles. 

Canine Couture: Despite all her talk of exhaustion, Sharon manages to bang out a great couture look. She made some spectacular boots coated in curly poodle fur. She has a giant wig to match, as well. 

Phi Phi O'Hara (and Hunter, a bloodhound)

Daytime Dog Park: Phi Phi goes for a Barbie doll-inspired look with a hint of Nicki Minaj. I guess it isn't the worst. 

Pooch in a Purse (party girl): Phi Phi looks young and fun in her neon-themed party look. She does pair it with a cardigan that takes away from the whole look, but I like the rest of it. 

Canine Couture: Phi Phi's couture look is pretty good (if not terribly couture). She is wearing some kick-ass thigh-high suede boots and the outfit is like a leotard thing with a coat over it. It works, for the most part, even though her hair looks like it was styled by Rose Nylund and Blanche Deveraux. 

I am choosing not to comment on the dumb Broadway routine…it is really strange and not that entertaining. 

Mainstage

Ru is wearing a somewhat strange black trash bag dress with roses on it, but she manages to work it out and make it fierce, of course. She is joined by guest judges Rose McGowan and the amazing Wynnona Judd. They are joined by standard judges Santino and Michelle Visage. I have been really glad to see mostly Michelle and Santino as our guest judges this season. They are the best at it, and I have a hate-on for Billy B.  

The judges find various failures with mostly Latrice's looks. They really aren't wrong about the problems with them—the first was weird, the second was ok, and the third was boring. The guest judges liked Chad Michaels more than our standard judges did this week. As they have been saying for weeks, he is too boringly perfect. Sharon Needles wins the challenge, which is amazing. Phi Phi is also safe, which means that Chad and Latrice are in the bottom two and will have to lip sync…..for their liiiiiiiiiiiiiiives. 

The girls are syncing to "No One Else on Earth" by Ms. Winona Judd herself. Latrice really struggles with song, and admits that he hasn't done a much country lip syncing. He goes for the soul, again, but it just doesn't work. She was definitely handed the last two lip syncs, so it is only fair that she gets challenged on her third trip to the bottom. Chad Michaels is asked to shante, and stay, and our awesome big lady, Ms. Latrice Royale is sent sashaying away. Ru gives her a heartfelt thanks for being there, and Latrice returns the compliments. It is clear that everyone loves Latrice, and will be sad to see her go. 

This leaves us with our final three, people. Sharon Needles. Phi Phi O'Hara. Chad Michaels. Shabooom!

Hidden Gems

• Not too many good gems for today. The girls were all stressed out while they had to pull all these looks together, and some of the levity is gone from the show because of it. 
  
  
• The judges are also taking it very seriously, and the panel isn't as zingy and light as usual. 
  
  
• The show tried to manufacture a bit of drama by asking each of the dragtestants who should make the final three. It gives us one more chance for a shouting match between Phi Phi and Sharon. To Sharon's credit, she was just answering Ru's question and Phi Phi started yelling out her. Annoying. I am getting worried that she will win.
  
  
• During the judging critiques, the show pans to the Interior Illusions lounge for reaction shots from the girl's dog partners. It is a nice and hilarious touch. 
  
  
• We are thrilled to have a guest commenter with us this week. Junior Mint's thoughts, "I thought Latrice was strong all the way through. She has always been such a strong synced, it is hard to see her go. I love the way her emotions come through". So true.
  
  
• And last word goes to the Peanut Gallery, "You gotta stay on top. Girl peaked too soon, sadly." She will be missed. 

DILFs: Dad's I'd like to Frock

Last week, a very political challenge exposed the weakness in Dida Ritz (that weakness being her lack of style and boringsauce personality). Sharon Needles won the challenge for her frighteningly accurate portrayal of some recent female political candidates. Also last week, Ru announced that one of the departed queens would be coming back into the competition. It turns out that Michelle and Santino selected the incomprehensible Kenya Michaels to return. This seems like as good a choice as any, because at least she brings a professional look. 

The mini-challenge this week has the girls dragging out some stuffed teddy bears, and it is hilariously weird. Chad Michaels' bear looks a lot like Jiggly Caliente, and Ru even asks if he "may call her Jiggly". It is cute. Sadly, Kenya Michaels wins the challenge, and then says something incoherent. Classic Kenya. Ru brings in some real-life fathers who the girls will be frocking out. Kenya gets to choose which dudes go with which ladies, and the process isn't too exciting. The other part of the challenge is that they also have to give their Dad's baby bumps. It seems like an unnecessary complication, and none of the queens are too excited about it. Another aspect of the challenge is that the pairings will perform a striptease on the stage before they come out in the maternity finest. This episode ask the girls to do a bunch of different things, although that is kind of par for the course.  

Leland and Latrice: Leland is a fun large black man who seems game for the challenge here. He certainly doesn't complain like some of the others. I guess having 6 kids makes a man able to cope with craziness. 

Rick and Kenya: Kenya picks the prettiest man, but as is always the case with those who bring the face, he is a diva. He doesn't like walking in the painful heels, and clearly thinks Kenya is insane. Don't we all?

James and Chad: Chad's daddy doll really wants to be involved with everything to do with the design of the outfits. He rubs Chad the wrong way, but mostly because Chad is such a perfectionist and needs to control everything. 

Mike and Sharon: Sharon has drawn the short straw as it pertains to partners, as Mike is apparently insane. He is also really beefy, and has the "brickest face in the bunch" as Sharon says. He spends the first day in the workroom stroking his fake boobs. He also doesn't seem to be able to grasp even simple choreography, and Sharon is at her wits end with it. In the workroom, Mike strangely picks a fight with Chad and they sort of having a shouting match about it. The next day, Mike says it was all a joke, and meant to manufacture drama, but he just comes of as crazy, again. 

Chris and Phi Phi: We don't see very much of these two in the workroom. It does seem like they are getting along well and that Phi Phi has a plan to make them look like funny pregnant ladies. 

Mainstage

Ms. Ru looks (sigh) fabulous tonight. We are talking a striking red/orange structured dress with huge bow embellishment. She is joined by guest judges Jesse Tyler Ferguson (one of my very favourite guest judges from the last season of So You Think You Can Dance) and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Our standards, Michelle Visage and Santino Rice also join the panel. 

Sharelle and Latrice Royale: The runway look for these two is ok. Latrice is wearing a fun tight dress with a circles print, but Sharelle doesn't look great. Her baby bump is lumpy and her dress isn't very nice. It is a one sleeved number and the sleeve in question is a different fabric than the rest of the dress. 

Gi Gi and Phi Phi O'Hara: I am not in love with how Phi Phi has dressed Gi Gi up. Both of them are in short bubbly dresses in offensive bright pink and teal. Gi Gi is just a really burly dude, too, so that doesn't help. 

Lil' Mama and Kenya Michaels: Kenya and Rick have these weird sad looks on their faces as they work the runway, and it is strange. One of the judges calls them "macabre" which is an apt descriptor. The outfits are also just boring. 

Robin Mansions and Sharon Needles: Sharon does a great job of turning her weird DILF into a Sharoned-up version of himself. The have coordinating eyepatches (notch), and sleek black gowns. Robin's baby bump looks like a huge square, but other than that, the look is solid. 

Lady Samantha and Chad Michaels: Chad's looks are both very polished, as we would expect, but her baby bump is horrible. It is like a body pillow stuffed down her dress…just a huge, long rectangle. Also, the dresses she has chosen are not really pretty either. 

Judging: Phi Phi has a weird dumb breakdown about how she wishes her Dad was more like Chris. It seems pre-planned, as with everything Phi Phi. The judges call Latrice out for not making his Dad look more like a sister. They also didn't like Kenya Michael's weird choice to make their runway so sad. Phi Phi wins the challenge, which is annoying. I really don't like her to win things. Unsurprisingly, Kenya and Latrice are tossed into the bottom two, and will have to lip sync…for their liiiiiiiiiives. They are syncing to "(You Make me Feel Like a) Natural Woman" by Aretha Franklin. Home field advantage goes to Ms. Latrice here, and for the second week in a row. She rocks it out while Kenya flies around her (like a tiny moon orbiting the planet Latrice). Kenya's weirdly energetic routine doesn't fit with the song at all, and Latrice easily takes the win. 

Hidden Gems

• Ru did a really funny old lady voice when introducing the challenge. I can't really do it justice here, but it is worth paying attention to. 
  
  
• "I'm working with a DILK. Dad I'd Like to Kill".
  
  
• Ru also had a great interaction with Phi Phi, where he calls her out for just saying "it will be fine, I'll get it done", but then she totally doesn't make it work. Again, I feel like I am not doing it justice here (and I do realize it is my one job). Ru says "You say you are all good, and then it isn't", but he like mumbles the last part there as if it is too shameful to speak of. It is great stuff! 
  
  
• This episode gives us a really great montage of some of our gals explaining to their Dads about tucking. It is a fascinating process, and Kenya Michaels even does some hands-on work with her dad. No wonder he looked so sad on the runway. 
  
  
• I think I have a guess as to why they through the "look pregnant" part onto this episode. In past seasons, when the dragtestants have had to frock out a straight guy, quite often the problem is that they are just too muscly and thick around the middle to make it believable. Perhaps the producers thought that giving the girls the mask of a pregnant belly would help even the playing field? I may be off here, but it just doesn't seem like there is another reason for it. 
  
  
• This week gave us perhaps the most enjoyable judging panel to date. The laughs were often and hearty. A few gems are below.
  
  
• "I'm not seeing the family resemblance. It is more like friends in a Tyler Perry movie"  -JTF
  
  
• Sharon Needles: "Nothing makes a girl feel prettier than standing next to this one over here" (with funny inflection, of course).
  Ru: "Well that's why I hang out with Michelle Visage!"
  
  
• Last word goes to our faithful Peanut Gallery, "You gotta be on your game. You can't come back and make the same mistakes again". 

RuPaul's Drag Race: Frock the Vote

 Last week, Willam won the challenge, but was kicked off the show for "breaking a rule" of the show. We don't know what said rule was, but she is outta here. We won't find out what rule was broken until the reunion show, which is a damn shame. 

This week, we are getting political up in the race. SheMail informs us of basically nothing (as usual) and gives some vaguely political puns. The mini challenge sees the girls decorating platform shoes. Absolut Vodka representative Jeffrey Moran is here, giving us our first indication that this is the sponsor's episode. The girls are designing platform shoes that are based on a "signature" Absolut cocktail. It is fairly lame. The shoes are all garish and ridiculous (which was the point, of course), and Phi Phi takes the win. 

The main challenge this week is a Frock the Vote Presidential Debate. Suddenly I am sad that Jiggly isn't here…can you imagine what kind of crap she would come up with? Nor can I! During the workroom time, everyone works on their speeches and questions. Phi Phi takes the opportunity of Willam's obnoxious absence to really step it up and fill that void. She spends a bunch of time belching and then bragging about how she "was going to be a lawyer". Idiot. 

The other guest judge this week is Dan Savage, the founder of the It Gets Better Project, that you may have heard about. The project advocates support for LGBT teens who face bullying and abuse in their communities. The most famous aspect of the project is a series of (awesome) YouTube videos where LGBT adults relay stories from their lives and share how it does, in fact, get better. Dan and Ru visit the girls in the workroom to give them feedback on their progress so far. Dan's visit to the workroom shows that he is taking this challenge very, very seriously, and none of the ladies are. The tone of the whole challenge is a little bit strange. Dan is talking about legitimate policies and laws, and the ladies are trying to create characters and catch phrases. It just doesn't quite fit. 

Frock the Vote Debate

Dida Ritz: Dida is focusing on how people who work in drag don't get paid as well as others. She really struggles in the debate, and she comes off a bit dull as usual. 

Phi Phi O'Hara: Phi Phi's slogan implies that she will boff anyone who asks, and then her plan is to make factories that produce wigs. Phi Phi's character is supposed to a southern lady, but her accent is actually not great. In the actual debate, she is an annoying southern version of herself, and her attempts at humour are lost. She also makes the terrifying choice to call Latrice Royale and Dida Ritz "the help", which is both offensive and not funny. Latrice's reaction? "I'm from Compton, bitch. I will whip your ass". I would love to see it. 

Sharon Needles: Sharon is working on a campaign that will get a man/woman in the office. During the debate, she is the only one who navigates the serious/not serious tone of this strange challenge. She also has a hilarious line about Drag queens having the right to divorce. 

Latrice Royale: Latrice wants more funding for HIV and AIDS patients, but doesn't want to cut anything else. The most notable thing about Latrice's debate performance is his terrible make up. It is just getting worse, I think! He also doesn't make any of the points about his actual political points, which makes him seem dumber than he is. Latrice's hair in the debate is also not good. It is sort of a bun, but it is too small for her large head/face. 

Chad Michaels: Chad seems to be in trouble early, as he is trying to create a funny, wacky character for what seems to be a sort of serious challenge. Chad's stage character is supposed to be a trailer-trash person, but the things she says are not always coherent. She isn't really funny either, so that is points off. 

Big points to the production of this episode for the title cards they posted during the debate. They picked out some real gems from the ladies' incoherent speeches and highlighted the truly ridiculous side of any debate. One example? "Sharon Needles: I'm a girl of the streets".

Mainstage

Unsurprisingly, Ru is a damn vision on the mainstage again. A neon/pastel caftan with bold vertical stripes? Are you kidding me? It is amazing stuff, as always. She is joined by standards Michelle Visage and Santino, and guest judges Absolut's Jeffrey Moran and Dan Savage. It is worth noting that Michelle Visage's boobs are practically in their own seat tonight. The ladies are asked to bring their inaugural ball looks to the mainstage tonight. 

Phi Phi O'Hara: Phi Phi's look is a form-fitting white mermaid-style dress, and no first lady would be caught wearing that at the inauguration. Her make up is back to not great, but it isn't the worst we have seen it. 

Dida Ritz: Dida's runway look is a little more red carpet than inaugural ball, but at least it has sleeves (unlike Phi Phi's). Her hair is back to that unattractive black with bright blond highlights, and it is not fancy enough for the occasion. 

Chad Michaels: Chad is the only girl who really nails the runway theme. He has presidential hair, as well as a ridiculous emerald green gown that I think Laura Bush has for sure worn at some point. 

Latrice Royale: Good lord, does Latrice miss with this outfit. He has really been slipping in recent weeks, and I am afraid for him. He is wearing a tight black jersey dress with a terribly-fitting bejewelled girdle over the middle of it. It doesn't sit right under his cans, and it makes him look really lopsided. This thing is an absolute mess. Also, his bra strap just full-out showing, and that is not good. 

Sharon Needles: Sharon does something smart and manages to fit the runway challenge into her personal style, and goes for a presidential look "of the future". Her look is all nude pantyhose, but in a classy way. This competition is really hers to lose at this point. 

In the judging we learn that most of the panel found Chad Michaels to be hilarious, which is not really what I saw, but I trust them. There is also debate about whether Phi Phi O'Hara crossed the line with her "help" comment, and the panel is divided. Chad Michaels is safe, and Sharon Needles wins the challenge. Phi Phi is also safe, though by a slimmer margin. Up for elimination this week are Dida Ritz and Latrice Royale. The girls are lip syncing to "I've got to use my imagination" by Gladys Knight. You have to give homefield advantage to Ms. Latrice, and she channels big soul sisters everywhere. Dida takes off her gown immediately, and looks like a dude dancing to Gladys. Why do so many of the girls strip during their lip syncs? It just doesn't make sense to me. Latrice is told to shante, and stay. Dida Ritz is sent sashaying away.  

After the elimination, Ru announces that Michelle and Santino (aka the producers) get to choose one eliminated contestant who will get a second chance at the competition. They include Willam in the list of possible re-borns, but they can't possibly ask him back, can they? Him aside, I don't really want to see any of the other queens return, but if I had to take one, it would be my adorable dumbo, LaShauwn Beyond.  

Hidden Gems

• "I wasn't just gay. I was, like, gay and weird"- Sharon Needles on her high school experience. I really enjoy her. 
  
  
• "She had gravitas"- Dan Savage. Ru's response: "There's an ointment that can clear that up". I laughed right out loud, people. 
  
  
• It is all in the delivery, but this gem from Sharon Needles in the debate bears repeating: "Drag queens should most definitely be able to get married. We should also have the right to get divorced. I too would like to be an unhappily married woman, and then receive my alimony cheques to pay for my young lovers and vacations. Thank you, Dan". - her political debate cadence was really outstanding. 
  
  
• "I feel like that republican lady the politician can take to the ball, but he can take her back home and she's a whore in bed" - Chad Michaels 
  
  
• With the amount of times Jeffery Moran was referred to near the Absolut corporation, I wouldn't be surprised if he has undergone "corpohumanization" - See the most recent episode (Pillow Fight Part 2) of Community  for more details. 
  
  
• Last word goes to my Peanut Gallery, "You gotta have style! Girl didn't have an eye for fashion, fit or proportion. Also, the janky wigs have gotta go!".