Two dances per team this week, one regular and one “instant dance”. Apparently, this is where they find out their music right before (an hour before, or 20 minutes before in some cases) they dance to it. And we have a giant mirror ball from which the teams draw their song, but it is kind of dumb because their names are printed on the CDs, so it was all pre-determined and there is no need for the mirror ball. They claim this is how the professional dancers do it in competition, which is a bit nuts. 

Kyle and Lacey: Regular dance: I missed it. The judges like it and say Kyle is very much improved week to week. Instant Dance: Lacey’s dress is straight up hideous. They are doing the jive. It is pretty good considering they didn’t know about the song. I don’t understand the falling down at the end of the dance that seems to be allowed in jive. The judges really really loved it. Carrie Ann and Bruno were like jumping up and down.

Jennifer and Derek: Blah, blah, blah, Jennifer’s body is literally going to rip itself in two before she stops dancing, blah. This time they bring in an orthopedic surgeon to tell her that this is a hard decision to make. It is really awesome that she is old and kicking it, but I don’t want to hear about her body breaking down anymore. If you can’t do it, just leave! No one will care. Wow…her dad, Joel Grey came to wish her good luck. Cool. Regular Dance: Quickstep. It looks very good to me. And it is about as “pretty” as I have seen in this dance. When Kurt or whoever did it last week it looked like a giant stomping around awkwardly, whereas this is elegant and nice. Instant Dance: Rumba. Yikes, Jennifer is wearing a bra and a small half bedsheet. Girl can do the splits…that impresses me at any age. The dance is great, and the judges love it. Three 10s!

Kurt and Anna: They are doing a waltz for their regular dance. It is very smooth and I think Kurt has really improved. There are flashes of pancake hands, but he makes the dance look fairly effortless, which can’t be easy when you are 6’ 3” or whatever. Instant Dance: Cha Cha Cha. Kurt’s 11 kids show up. Ok, it is more like 5. Still, too many. Kurt is pretty bad at the Cha Cha Cha. Have there always been three Cha’s? The judges give it 8s, which I thought was too high, but Kurt is disappointed.

Bristol and Mark: Mama Palin is in the house, ya’ll. Actually, Bristol went “home” or something. So Mama P isn’t in the house at all. I lied to you. But we did get to see her. Their regular dance is the argentine tango. Bristol still isn’t technically awesome, but she does bring some intensity to the dance. Bristol’s hair is pretty. Instant Dance: Samba. Bristol’s dress is day-glo orange and not flattering. The dance is not very good. I think Bristol needs to know her music. She kind of looks like most of the dancers do in the first week…very unsure of where to go. The choreography for the dance is also rather simple and there are huge patches of time where they are just shaking.

 Brandy and Maks: At the grocery store tonight I saw an “In Touch” magazine with a headline saying Maks was being bullied. I don’t know where “In Touch” falls on the scale of trashy tabloid, but is this true? Who is supposed to have bullied him? Brandy? I don’t think so. She seems rather meek. Perhaps it will come out tonight. They are dancing the waltz. Brandy looks pretty in her dress again. Perhaps she just is pretty. The waltz is very good, and you can see how she is technically way better than Kurt. Instant Dance: Cha Cha Cha. They are really confident in rehearsals. Brandy’s outfit is super ugly. It is like a jumper with weird slits in the pants. Their Cha Cha Cha seems pretty good, but not as good as I was expecting. Maks is arguing with Carrie Ann and it is awkward.

Other Notes

• Random Celebs: Jamie Lee Curtis is back again. Doesn’t the woman have anything else to do? Like hang out with Christopher Guest and tell him to make more movies (I have a list of ideas, in case he is stuck)? She is sitting with Richard from The New Adventures of Old Christine! I have just looked up his name and it is apparently Clark Gregg. I kind of (really) love that show. OH MY LORD. He is married to Jennifer Grey. The things we are all learning about TV today—it is just really exciting.
• Ahhhh!! Sarah Palin! She said lap dance. Crazy.
• Oof…these Remembrance Day commercials are really heart-wrenching. Thanks to all active servicepeople and veterans for your many sacrifices for the rest of us (especially my Uncle Todd)!
• Judging quote of the week comes from Len: “Come on out and give it some ‘wellie’, girl” (with fist pumping motion). I have no idea what wellie is. Internet? The most I can glean is that it is a reference to Wellingtons, as in, give it some kick or boot? Can anyone better explain?
• Is it just me, or is the music getting better? I think the songs are better suited to the dances and better performed as well.
• A few technical problems tonight. A lot of the time when they went backstage to the rehearsal area, it was a black screen for a bit.
• The show ended on an awkward note with Maks saying the pros aren’t appreciated enough and that Carrie Ann should come to their rehearsals. It doesn’t make sense to me to piss off one of your three judges because you disagree with her. Maybe it is time to hang up your heeled shoes, Maks.
• I made it through a week without referencing Dirty Dancing. Just in case someone wants to hear about it, here is your quote for the week: "I know you aren't the one who got Penny in trouble. When I'm wrong I say I'm wrong".