Posted by: Lauren on Apr 7, 2012
Previously on RuPaul's Drag Race, Milan was a bit of a mess again, and was sent home. Jiggly was also in the bottom, and we learned that he is a balding dude. Willam won the Pride float challenge, and was generally annoying.
SheMail arrives, and it is all about libraries today. That's right, these gals are getting read. As we learned in past seasons, "reading" is kind of like roasting. It involves slamming your fellow queen with details about how they are slutty, ugly, fat, or whatever. It isn't as mean-spirited as it sounds, and all of the girls seem to enjoy it.
These mostly come from Sharon Needles, who tells Jiggly "You're such a fat slut, after sex you smoke hams".
Other winners are:
"Latrice Royale, you're free now. You don't have rock the yard sandals anymore!" -Dida Ritz
"Jiggly Caliente. B.M.W. Body. Made. Wrong."- Latrice, complete with snaps.
Latrice wins the mini library challenge, and gets to assign the dragazine titles that each of the queens will be working with this week. The girls each get to design a magazine cover, choose article titles and pose for a photo shoot for their magazines. They are each assigned a type of magazine (listed below). Latrice assigns Jiggly the Health and Fitness topic, and Jiggly decides to take it really seriously. Dida is also taking her magazine (food-based) seriously, and it doesn't seem to be working very well.
The girls head out for their photoshoot, and they have varying degrees of good feedback from the photographer. Sharon seems to do well. Jiggly can't jump rope, at all. Latrice seems to be very caught up in the Pit Crew that is smushing up on her on the couch. Willam just gets completely naked and orders people around the set.
Special guest judges this week are Regina King (I only know her from Jerry Maguire, but apparently she has also been on Southland), and country singer Pam Tillis. Ms. Ru is a vision in royal blue (I really think she is competing with Latrice's look from last week, and killing her). Santino and Michelle also join the panel.
Sharon Needles - Kitty Cat (Cat Lovers): This is a very glam look for Sharon. It still has hints of her old Elvira charm, but it is a simple black and white dress with long black gloves and a pretty simple black wig. The one setback is her frightening contacts, which she is addicted to.
Dida Ritz - Tastes Like Chicken (Food): Dida's mainstage look is also fairly glam. She is wearing a short silver sequinned dress, and it mostly works. Her hair is a little better than sometimes, but it is still pretty limp and lifeless. This hair problem is one that Michelle calls her out for again during the judging.
Chad Michaels - Eleganza (Style): Chad describes his look as "more dangerous", and it is something of a departure for him, but still very conservative. He is wearing skin-tight leather pants and a camisole with a net top (all of this is black). She also has a really short wig, which makes her look a bit like Florence Henderson. It isn't that dated, but it isn't great either.
Latrice Royale - What's the T? (Gossip Magazine): This look for Latrice is the first of hers that I haven't really liked. It is a gigantic orange carpet, draped all around her to the floor. The colour is actually really good for her, but the dress is so atrocious it doesn't matter. Her make up is also not good this week, as we can see full out lines between her cheeks and her neck. If Billy B. were here, he would not stand for it.
Willam - Sugar Walls (Interior Design): On the runway, Willam wears a really short pink thing that is sparkly and flirty. I don't much like her hair, which is messily piled on top of her hair, but looks limp. The judges say she is channeling Kylie Minogue, which may be true.
Jiggly Caliente - Battle of the Bulge (Health and Fitness): Yet another ugly prom dress from Jiggly. This one is lemon yellow, complete with a hideous crystal brooch that sits on one of her boobs. the dress looks very cheap, and so does she.
Phi Phi O'Hara - Sashay Away (Travel): Phi Phi really looks better this week. Her dress is a fun blue tiger print in a modern shape, and her hair is big in the right way. I am still not loving her make up—she makes her self look small-eyed on one side, and I swear this is never the case when she is out of drag. It must be a problem of the make up.
The judges are kindest to Sharon Needles for her kitty cat puns and Phi Phi for her travel magazine. They do not like Jiggly's weirdly serious take on dieting, Willam's naked interior design mess (and attitude), and Latrice Royale's mess on her magazine and the runway. Willam is particularly called out for having a beard, and for talking back to the judges about everything.
Phi Phi O'Hara wins this week, and I am sad to say it was deserved. Jiggly is up for elimination (for the third time), and joining her is Willam. They will both have to lip sync…..for their liiiiiiiiiives! They are syncing to "Mi Vida Loca" by guest judge Pam Tillis. This is a very country country song, and it is a bit strange for them to sync to it. Willam keeps flashing his ass and his tuck because he didn't wear underwear, but other than that, the sync isn't too exciting. Willam is asked to shante, and stay. Jiggly is sent (predictably) sashaying away.
- "I'm naked, I am tan, I've got boys around me. I'm happy with how the photoshoot went". -Willam is a simple girl.
- "Have you done porn?" "Not recently" "You should really consider it!"- This interchange between Sharon and the photographer was priceless. Her tone was completely flattering, as if doing porn is the real standard of attractiveness.
- For those of you keeping up, Michelle Visage will read anything with the words "Bathhouse", "69" and "Virginity". Niche magazines, take a note!
- Jiggly really did overstay her welcome here. She just didn't bring the game like a lot of the other girls. She was fun, but she was just not going to win.
- I have to apologize for the great delay in getting this recap up. I know I am like three weeks late here. I will blame the fact that I was in a championship game in my soccer league. That is right. Kind of a big deal in the women's recreational soccer world of the lower mainland.
- Last word, as always, goes to the Peanut Gallery: " You gotta be creative! A queen needs to bring the fabulous to everything she does!"