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Dancing with the Stars: Rock Week

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Written by Lauren Cheal   
Monday, 25 October 2010 19:03

Before we get to the dancing tonight, we get a glimpse at the top 10 routines as voted by YOU! Well, probably not you, and not me, but you get the idea. I have only watched the show sporadically, and I am glad I missed this season with Donnie Osmond (or as I call him, Bippity Bosman) winning--that seems like some sort of mistake. His dance is YOUR 9th favorite. I remember the Shawn Johnson routine (#10), and it was pretty good...I like all the fun backflips (Shawn is that olympic gymnast). Wow...so many people I didn't know about. #8 through #4 are all people I have heard about only in passing or not at all. Apolo Anton Ono is the one that I do know, but I kind of wish I didn't. Eeks! Brooke Burke made an awkward joke about how one of her dances (she was on this dumb show before they made her a host), had better be in the top 3. It was awkward because Tom and I both know she is totally not joking about it. Yikes #3 is Ono again. People must love that soulpatch. #2 is the tango by Gilles Marini and Cheryl--this is one of the only dances I remember from the seasons that I have watched and I am glad to see it in here. It is super intense and Gilles is hot. 

And the moment no one has been waiting for...#1 is Drew Lachey and Cheryl, from season 2. I feel like Brooke Burke is going to cut a producer. This huge waste of 30 minutes just proves what we already knew...the best pros to get are Cheryl and Derek. They are both multiple winners and they really play to their partners' strengths while teaching them how to dance well.

Ok, it is 8:30 and we are finally getting to introducing the damn couples. I am totally skipping the first half hour next week. 

Sorry for the lack of report last week, where Team Florky was euthanized. No loss, I am sure. And on to the dances!

Audrina and Tony: We start with Audrina being accused of "thinking too much" by Tony. I just don't feel like this is the problem here. I think the problem is that she has the personality of a plastic bag. The dance is kind of meh, and the judges really don't like it. Audrina's hair is super ugly. It is to "Another one bites the dust" and I know absolutely nothing about music, but I don't think that is "Rock"...am I wrong, music officiandos? 

Kid from the Disney Channel and Lacey: I really don't care about this kid, and Lacey has never been one of my favorite pros, so I am just waiting for them to be kicked off. The kid kind of still sucks, but he is a little better today than in past weeks and the judges like it a lot. I still think he should be kicked. In other news...my Cowboys just scored (they have been sucking almost as much as this kid, so here's hoping this game will turn things around)! 

Jennifer Grey and Derek: I really feel like Grey has a big advantage over the other dancers because she already knows about not having "spaghetti arms". Their paso doble is really intense, and there is a reason that two of Derek's past paso's were in the top 10 at the beginning of the show. The judges really hated it because she got way out of control at the end and Carrie Ann seems personally offended at the performance. The song is a weirdly slowed version of Pink's "So What". It should go without saying that it is terrible, but I will say it in case you were wondering.  I didn't think the dance was that bad, but what do I know?

Rick Fox and Cheryl: This guy is such a giant. I feel like Cheryl must be straining her neck to be in hold with him. Cheryl has some awesome silvery boots on. I feel like I could rock that look. Ok, that was a joke. This tango seems a little slow to me, but the audience is going cuckoos for it...let's see what the judges think. For the most part the judges liked it, so I must be wrong. 

Bristol Palin and Mark: They are going to use air guitar as a part of their tango...I feel like this isn't going to work. The dance is much better than she has been in the past, although the air guitar part is dumb and doesn't fit with the intense tone of the rest of the dance. The judges really love it but Len says he has to deduct points because they broke hold to do the air guitar. To be fair to Mark, it seemed like he really didn't want to do it, but it seems like he should have just said "No".

Kurt Warner and Anna: To be fair, I missed the Kurt clip package and 90% of the dance, but it seems like it ended on a strong note and the audience is going bananas for it. The judges think it was crap, so it seems like one I should have watched to judge for myself. My bad! I was watching the Cowboys' lead slowly dissolve. 

Brandy and Maks: I don't really care about these two either. They really don't seem to get along and it isn't fun to watch. In rehearsals, Brandy is wearing Lululemon garb. Canadian shout out? Yikes...Brandy starts crying during rehearsals and Maks rolls his eyes. That is just rude. The dance seems pretty good...it is a tango, and it is very intense. Brandy looks really angry when she is done. Thanks to Bruno for the Tina Turner reference. We all need more of those. The judges LOVE this one. I think I need to know more about dance to see why this is better than some of the other ones. 

So that is everyone's first dance and up next is a "Marathon" of 4 minutes with everyone on the dance floor at once. Oh fun...it is like Grease with the tap out system. Damn that Cha Cha DiGregorio! Lifts are allowed and encouraged and I am hoping someone gets kicked. 

Here we go! Kurt and Bristol are out early, I think because they were barely moving while everyone else was being thrown around. Rick and Cheryl are out next and this marathon isn't nearly as exciting as I thought it would be. Everyone is moving so slowly. Kyle and Lacey are done, as are Audrina and Tony...they were both kind of just walking. The big showdown is Jennifer and Derek v. Brandy and Maks. And Brandy and Maks win. That was lame. 

So the leaders tonight are Brandy and Maks and at the bottom we have Kurt and Anna. I hope Kyle and Lacey go home. 

Other notes:

 

  • "Rock Week": Again the stupid theme is not really needed or useful. They just keep showing this "rock guy" playing guitar. Not needed, show. 
  • I still love hearing the announcer say Carrie Ann "Inaaaaber". Did you try it yet?
  • Awesome guest appearance of the week: Melanie Griffith (I think, or its a look-alike) sitting with Jaime Lee Curtis (married to my favorite director, Christopher Guest)! It appears they are cheering for Jennifer Grey.
  • Tom made a great reference to his old set at Hollywood Squares, which it seems ABC re-appropriated for DWTS tonight. 
  • Brooke Burke really is a terrible host. I know it is hard because she is working with Tom who is absolutely one of the best on TV, but she is terrible. She keeps cutting people off and/or asking unanswerable questions.
  • See you next week for the 200th show!

 

Comments (6)Add Comment
0
emuffinsworth
October 26, 2010
Votes: +0
DWTS: Rock Week

I have only caught snippets of this show previously, I am now a religious watcher because of this blog. Too funny for words! smilies/grin.gif

0
Yvonne Wakim Dennis
October 26, 2010
Votes: +1
Scalping

Why is this comment funny to you? It is NEVER funny to perpetuate stereotypes and racism. It would seem that Bruno should be more sensitive since he is Italian and Columbus began a few centuries of physical, cultural and psychological genocide against the Indigenous peoples of this hemisphere.

It is time to promote healing, not hatred. Also, if you and Bruno knew your history, you would know that it was Europeans, yes my dear, Europeans who began scalping, not us. Look it up, although it may be hard to learn the truth - we don't own the publishing companies.

So, unless you are on board with the healing of 500 years of oppression and genocide aimed at First Nations folks, it would seem that you and Bruno might want to return to the country of your ancestors. If you do want to end the racism, then you both would certainly be welcome in this country, the land of MY ancestors. Hope this shows you that in spite of wishful thinking, guns, swords, diseases, theft, and bias, we are still here and watching DAncing with the Stars on real t.v's just like you.

0
ssm
October 26, 2010
Votes: +0
Scalping? Funny?

Not only racist but since when is scalping a woman funny? Bruno is on the show to make racy, over the top comments and provide a foil for some homosexual jibes at times as well. Brooke is there to show as much of her breasts as is legally possible. And so it goes.

0
Winyan Luta
October 26, 2010
Votes: +0
The Offensive Remark of Scalping!

As a Native American, I found Bruno's scalping comment to be really offensive. I am certainly in solidarity with Yvonne Wakim Dennis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Winyan Luta/Red Woman

Lakota/Powhatan/Cherokee!!!!!!!!!!!

Lauren Cheal
Lauren Cheal
October 26, 2010
Votes: +0
...

I am truly sorry for my oversight, I completely blanked on the historical context of that word and I do not find anything about it funny, either. I have removed the reference and hope that you can forgive my lack of paying attention.

0
Louise Leclaire
October 27, 2010
Votes: +0
Respect

Native people have respected other cultures for centuries...for the Mohawk, it's called the Two Row Wampum - you live on your path and we live on ours -and as long as you don't impose and contaminate us with your opinions and barbarian ways, we can live together. Bruno shows how ignorant he is every week. He should be replaced!

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Last Updated on Tuesday, 26 October 2010 11:26
 

Lauren Cheal is a (Cult)ure Magazine contributor since Tuesday, 02 February 2010.

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