Gossip Girl: More Chuck, Please
|Written by April Yorke|
|Tuesday, 09 March 2010 13:40|
Now that Gossip Girl is finally, finally back (unlike, say, Glee), we can hopefully staunch our rivers of tears and let the show get back to the things it does best: scheming, complicated sexual dynamics, and dire stupidity. Though "The Hurt Locket" wasn't GG at its best, it was a nice warm up for the full tilt run toward the season finale (don't leave me again, show! I mean . . . ).
Chuck's running around all over town (even missing out on Anna Karenina-role play with Blair) in search of mystery lady from his father's grave (the last ep was about two weeks ago for the UES). Or, as Chuck puts it, "I think that whore might be my mother." In an episode that was actually kind of boring, you know Ed Westwick's exquisitely expressive face* made me choke up a little over that one. We finally meet her, and Elizabeth's got the right weird face (sadly lacking in expression), a weird accent, and half a locket containing a picture of her holding baby Chuck. Or maybe some other Bart baby. I am going to be très disappointed in this show if she turns out to be Chuck's mom after all. I will be happy if this means Chuck gets more to do, though. When was the last time we saw him menace anyone?
The other scheme comes from none other than Jenny Humphrey, drug mule, who revives her latent interest in fashion design in order to sow the French Ambassador's daughter's pills into the paillettes of a hideous bolero. There's a bunch of nonsense where she's in on the scheme, then she isn't, then she is again some more. Somehow, this ends up with her telling creepy Damian that she wants to be more than just a business partner. Damian makes a face like . . . like he should have guessed that would happen, actually. It's kind of hilarious.
Complicated Sexual Dynamics
Serena and Nate fail instantly in their plan to take things slow, so Blair, who has a complicated on- and off-again relationship with Nate and a previous bitter rivalry with Serena over Nate, advises her to make Nate jealous. Nate talks to Dan, who has a complicated on- and off-again relationship with his now-step-sister Serena and a previously rivalry with Nate over Serena, and takes his advice to slow things back down. Dan, in addition to never giving good advice, is distracted by his unrequited love for Vanessa, with whom Nate has a complicated on- and off-again relationship. Nate slows things down, so Serena takes Blair's advice. Finally, Jenny of all people reminds Nate to never listen to Dan and nut up, and the episode ends with a clothing-thieving Nate and Serena looking happier than we've ever seen them look. Dan, on the other hand, is leaving sad messages and read multiple self-help blogs about how to turn friends into lovers. Much like when Dan wanted to watch I am Curious (Yellow) to learn about sex, I suggest he turn to When Harry Met Sally for this one.
In five parts:
Chuck did wear purple and was a little cold to Blair in this episode, but it's not enough. We need more Chuck!
Now, what is going to take for GG to bring Carter Baizen back? I'm going to have to see Sebastian Stan in Hot Tub Time Machine, aren't I? Maybe I'll rent The Covenant (with Nate Archibald and Tim Riggins!) again, too.
*You know how celebrities supposedly get physical things that they are known for insured? Ed Westwick should get his face insured, and it should be declared illegal for him to get Botox or any sort of plastic surgery on his face. I love it so.
|Last Updated on Friday, 12 March 2010 06:22|