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Supernatural: Soulless Sammy

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Written by April Yorke   
Thursday, 11 November 2010 12:23

Photo: Michael Courtney/The CW Last week's Supernatural, "Family Matters," got to the bottom of Sam's deal. And that's about all that happened. There was also some alpha stuff and some Grandpa's deal, but it was all so boring that it's hard to say if anything else happened. Oh, wait, some Campbells died. That was good.

Do you have soul? That all depends.

Damn, Dean really was trying to beat the pretty clean off his baby brother's face. Sam looks like shit. Dean's got him lashed to a chair, and Castiel's there for an examination. It yields nothing, so Castiel's going to have to do that thing he did in "The Third Man" to read that kid's soul. Cas advises Sam to go to a place of serenity and also bite down on this belt. When he's done, Castiel reports that Sam came back from Hell with no soul. Dean's flabbergasted and more than a little miffed at Sammy, and I'll admit that his anger was lost on me. It's not like Sam just forgot his soul or intentionally left it behind or sold it (*pointed look*). How's he supposed to know that his soul is missing? He told Dean things were different, but he didn't know how. Dean's going to go be pissed about this for the rest of the episode, so I'll just side step the whys and wherefores for now. After the soul grope, Castiel heals Sam. He hates to see pretty go to waste. Dean's all gung-ho about leaving Sam tied to that chair until his soul can be restored or until Dean kills him, but Sam's had enough. He hulks out of his bindings and tells Dean that he's not going to keep him in this hotel room or Bobby's panic room or anywhere else. Ah, don't diss the panic room! Despite his attitude, Dean accepts that trying to beat the pretty off Sam every week probably isn't a good long term plan. They need to track down Sam's soul. Has he got any ideas? Sam's got one. Crowley?

Nope, Grandpa. Honestly, though, wouldn't you go to Crowley? He's an expert in souls! Anyway, after some dick measuring and a soul grope, Castiel confirms that Grandpa does have a soul. Castiel has to get back to Heaven, and Dean starts throwing a hissy at him right in front of everyone. Castiel once again has to be like, "CIVIL WAR, DEAN!" Dean's like, "Fine, but you better come when I call," and Castiel honestly says, "Your priorities always come first." Dean tries to remember if he taught Castiel sarcasm.

The Campbells (and there are so many of them all of a sudden) are gearing up for a hunt, and Sam immediately sniffs out that it must be an alpha. Dean thinks that Grandpa won't let them play because Dean doesn't trust him, so he agrees to take a back seat. Eventually Grandpa agrees and brings Sam and Dean along for the hunt. Dean has to stick back with the women, and the only Campbell lady we've met before once again acts like a bitch about Dean's hunting ability. Lady, are you kidding? Go to Hell sometime. Today, if you would be so kind.

Dean recognizes the vamp den as the one from his anti-vampire vomit attack, so he wanders off from the other ladies. He spies the Campbells plus Sam dumping a vamp into the back of a van. Later, Lady Cousin covers for Dean getting momentarily freaked by a vamp, so maybe she isn't so bad after all. At least Dean remembered to keep his mouth shut this time.

Back at the Campbell Compound, Dean is mad! How can Sam be in on kidnapping alphas? Doesn't he realize it's wrong? Sam does not. I'm not even sure I do. Because . . . you should just kill them? Don't act like you've never tortured a demon, Dean. And I'm just talking about the shit you've pulled topside. Worst of all, Sam has no idea what intel Grandpa is hoping to gain from these torture sessions. Dean yells that Sam can't trust Grandpa just because he's family. "Samuel is not Dad!" he bellows, and I think that's the first time that someone has made that reference to Sucky John and meant it as an insult to the other party. Dean has decided that since Sam doesn't know up from down (morally), Sam's just going to have to do whatever Dean says from now until they find his soul or Sam can stick with the Campbells.

Fakeout. Sam tells Grandpa that Dean and Sam had a fight and Dean split. Sam wants in on the alpha torture, but Grandpa's weary now that he knows about Soulless Sammy. Jared Padalecki makes such a hilariously embarrassed face every time someone finds out about/brings up his lack of soul. On his way out of the compound, Sam hops in a truck and fiddles with a cell phone.

Sam slides back into the Metallicar for the obvious fakeout was indeed a fakeout. Having been denied, Sam activated the GPS on one of cell phones. Dean wonders if they'll notice, and Sam assures him that Grandpa is still mesmerized by the miracle technology of Velcro. Heh. Also, remember back when Sam didn't think his dad could text because he was bewildered by the miracle technology of the toaster? See, it's still Sam! That's right, I've decided that that is character continuity and not joke recycling.

Grandpa's got the alpha vamp (a smooth Rick Worthy) nailed into an electric chair. Wherever "it" is, Alpha's not telling. Campbells roll, and Sam and Dean break in. Alpha's grown out a nail at will and is slowly filing his way to freedom, so he decides to open up with Sam and Dean, his former child, confident that he'll be eating them both soon. Grandpa's looking for Purgatory. That's where all the things that go bump in the night go when they die. Grandpa's not looking for himself, though. Someone else is pulling the strings. That's all they get before Grandpa and his crew show up to give Sam and Dean a talkin'-to.

Talkin'-to doesn't get very far before Alpha busts out, so it's tabled until they can get out of there alive. Vampire-fu ensues, including Alpha getting all hot and bothered to turn Soulless Sammy, as he will make the best damn vampire ever. Some Campbells pull him off, then their eyes turn demon black, then all the demons and Alpha disappear in a flash. Wha? Crowley.

See? If you're going to talk souls, talk to a collector. Crowley put Sam and Grandpa back on this earth. Crowley's pulling the strings because he's got Sam's soul. He wants purgatory for murky reasons, and he's holding the soul for ransom until he gets it. Everyone's Crowley's bitch. They shouldn't have returned those bones so quickly. I wonder if Dean thought to pocket a finger.

Dean is mad! Shocker! Grandpa betrayed them and Sam by not being honest about the situation. Grandpa's like, "If you're going to kill me, then kill me because I'm not fighting my own family." So Sam pulls out his gun! I laugh, although I'm probably supposed to be appalled like Dean. Dean's like, "Slow down, sport. Souls before (bullet) holes."

At the end, Dean doesn't want to be Crowley's bitch, and Sam wonders what other choice they have. Don't you still have the Colt? Didn't you just learn about burning bones? Start razing whole cemeteries. That'll get his attention. 

In other news:

  • Despite last week, Sam's hair is still terrible. If the previews are to be believed, Sam's hair is going to be even worse next week.
  • Lady Cousin's name is Gwen. I'll try to remember that.
  • "Tell it to me again. Like I'm five." I wouldn't be surprised if that's how Castiel always speaks to Dean.
  • "My true form is the size of your Chrysler Building." That's what he said!
  • Gwen says that Grandpa is weird about her because she reminds him of Mary. The momentary tenderness on Dean's face is striking.
  • "If we get through this, we are sitting down for one hell of a family meeting."
  • UPDATE: Before we knew Crowley had Sam's soul (and how do we know for sure?), I said to my viewing companion that lack of soul strengthens my angel theory, but she pointed out that Castiel would probably know another angel when he gropes one.

Tomorrow: Crowley offers Dean Sam's soul in exchange for an alpha. Dean thinks this is morally wrong.

Comments (1)Add Comment
0
Emily
November 12, 2010
Votes: +0
Dean's anger

I think is less at his brother and more at what he feels is the empty shell of his brother currently walking the earth (zombie Sam!). Also, did we get a reason that Grandpa is so quick to capitulate to Crowly? He has no missing soul in the works.

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Last Updated on Thursday, 11 November 2010 03:35
 

April Yorke is a (Cult)ure Magazine contributor since Wednesday, 07 January 2009.

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