True Blood: I Saw You, Now and Again |
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| Written by April Yorke |
| Monday, 19 July 2010 11:45 |
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Franklin, Tara, and Talbot have moved from the foyer to the dining room, where Franklin is busy crossing Tara’s legs and fluffing her hair and generally treating her like a Real Doll. Pretty soon Franklin and Talbot are hissing at each other, fangs out, so that’s when the thoroughly bloodied Russell, Lorena, and Bill wander in, the former two laughing and the latter one making sad Bill faces like he always does. I love that blood doesn’t wash on this show. It’s all over them. On Lorena’s back, even! Sidebar: I recently re-watched the Buffy pilot, “Welcome to the Hellmouth” and “The Harvest,” and it was a curiously bloodless affair. I’m so accustomed to grue that I kind of surprised at the innocence of it all. Even Stefan had blood dripping from his mouth on the CW (née the WB) this year. Anyway, Tara’s all, “WTF, Bill? HELP ME!” Bill: “No.” Credits! Franklin and Tara, Together Forever Franklin delivers Bill’s creepy Sookie file to Russell. He wants his payment in cash this time, though Russell reminds him that the last time this happened, Franklin slaughtered a group of church ladies who wouldn’t let him have a turn at the slots. I nod solemnly because church ladies shouldn’t be gambling and also because Franklin is all business in this scene. Russell mildly reminds Franklin that these things never end well, but Franklin insists that things are different this time. Tara’s the only person he’s ever met who is as deeply fucked up as he is. That’s a pretty solid assessment right there. Later, Franklin’s got her tied to the bed in a high collared, floor length Victorian nightie, very Bride of Frankenstein, and it’s more of the same with the two of them with bonus freaking out over a text from Lafayette (surely not her boyfriend). Tara feeds him a text that I hope isn’t code for Lafayette’s sake, and Franklin texts “motherfucker” quickly and repeatedly to impress Tara. Next night, Franklin’s snoozing away (he’s repositioned Tara so that they are spooning, heh), and Tara chews through her restraints. She’s out the door (stay in the sunlight, I advise her), but Wolf Cooter tackles her and then shifts into human form and lies on top of her naked with a big grin on his face because Cooter is gross. Next night, Franklin’s having an absolute meltdown over Tara trying to leave him, blood tears and saliva flying everywhere, when Tara finally, finally realizes that she’s got to relax into the crazy in order to control it. This show’s always about control, and Tara never has any, so this ought to be good. She tries to quell the shaking (physically and in her voice) long enough to let Franklin know that it’s not him that she’s afraid of but the other vampires, and Franklin goes dark: she’s his, and they’ll never hurt her. Hmm, I wonder how old Franklin is. Later still, Tara’s crying over a bowl of flowers at the dining room table because apparently Talbot thinks that’s what humans like to eat nowadays. I find it hard to believe that Talbot wouldn’t be a more considerate host. Even Bill has Fresca. Naturally, Franklin is outraged. Tara tells him that that they need to talk, which worries Franklin because that generally leads to blacking out and waking up surrounded by body parts, but Tara tells him it’s good thing. She’s finally done shivering and turns up the sex, telling (lying, though I think in part to herself) Franklin that she’s into him in a big way, but humans need tending. Franklin, being the adorable crazy vampire that he is, would be blushing if he could and is all, “Tara!” in that “Aw, shucks, you’re embarrassing me but do go on” way. Listen, I realize I shouldn’t be rooting for him because he’s so fucked up, but Bill’s fucked up, too, and people like him, right? So I like Franklin. Anyway, he starts babbling about some restaurant he’s going to take her to in Williamsburg because he’s planning to drag her across yet more state lines and oh, yeah, make her his vampire bride. Hee! I bet if Franklin hadn’t moved quite so fast (and, you know, kept her tied up for days on end), this could have worked in his favour. Eric is Hamlet Eric rolls up to everyone’s favourite octagonal plantation seeking Russell but getting the eye from Talbot instead because who wouldn’t? I may like Talbot yet. Since when is Eric’s hair brown? Anyway, Russell, Talbot, and Eric sit down to blood martinis, and Eric seeks permission to hunt Russell’s land for Bill due to the whole blood selling scheme. Russell, however, already knows the score on that one, and pretty soon still hot Bill, whose hair is unfortunately starting to cover up his face again -- meaning he’ll see Sookie soon -- is there, laughing at Eric for trying to pin that one on him. Bill announces that he’s a Sheriff now, too, and then he and Eric exchange all sorts of meaningful glances about how that means Bill’s given Sookie up, while Talbot and Russell laugh at them for getting so hot and bothered over a human. Eric, unflappable, gives up the charade and explains that he was selling V on the Queen’s behalf, and now he needs help as the Magister is going to kill his progeny. Twice in the episode does Eric bring up his “progeny” being in the Magister’s clutches, and twice does his voice quaver in a wholly new way, and damn, does Alexander Skarsgård excel in this role. Talbot, as Russell’s progeny, is scandalized by this threat, and Russell invites Eric to stay the night (odd that he doesn’t say day), offering to help figure something out in the evening. Next night, though, Russell’s too busy with other kingly duties, so he charges Eric with keeping Talbot “occupied” for now in exchange for Russell’s help later. He also hauls out the old chestnut that the Magister is only as has as much power as they give him, and, as much as I am enjoying Russell, I cannot wait for Eric to sell him down the river. I don’t even understand how the Magister works, but I know you do not fuck with the Magister. Talbot gives Eric a tour, and the two are flirting it up, when Eric comes across a crown that Talbot thinks is Scythian, maybe, but Eric recognizes as Viking. Flashback time! Seems Eric wasn’t just any old Viking but a Viking prince (not surprising, considering), and he’s strutting around the ancestral home with a baby (!) in his arms. We take a quick moment to appreciate how even Eric’s walk has changed. He never struts now. He slinks. Anyway, the baby is his sister, and his mother and father, the Queen and King, would really like to see Eric married off already, but he’s too busy screwing maids and loving life, exactly like Godric said. Eric’s like, I’ll be a grown up tomorrow, but I’m off to sleep with that maid tonight, so naturally werewolves break in and slaughter his family. No, seriously, werewolves break in and slaughter his family, baby and all. It really is quite shocking. His father gets one of them, and I think Eric did, too, but what’s really important is the mother-effing Operation Werewolf brand on the dead body’s neck. That motherfucker. The surviving werewolf carries the crown out to a hooded figure who is most assuredly Russell and who essentially tells Eric to get over it already. Eric’s father makes Eric swear vengeance with his dying breath, and holy shit. Eric has been hunting for this bastard for a millennium? I wonder how long it took him to tell Godric? I love that Godric was totally helping him with his vengeance quest! Anyway, back in the present, Eric is going to fuck Talbot and then he is going to fuck Russell up. I cannot wait. Don’t forget to save Pam, though! Bill and Sookie, Reunited Sookie and Alcide are on their way back from Lou Pine’s because apparently Alcide managed not to shift. Alcide’s driving like a maniac, so Sookie yells at him about his shitty girlfriend and then immediately takes it back when Alcide slams on the breaks. She was only being nasty to get his attention. Alcide admits that Debbie is pretty shitty now, but she wasn’t always at least not when she wasn’t drunk or cheating. Alcide, get a clue. If you need to put so many caveats on it, it wasn’t good. The next day, Sookie’s curled up on a mat in the corner of Alcide’s room like his pup, removing her black nail polish, when she hears Debbie and Alcide fighting in the other room. Debbie still looks like shit and she’s too fucked up to properly convey that Alcide is in danger and should leave town accordingly without 18 insults mixed in, so her point doesn’t come across. Sookie’s pulling the names of guys Debbie’s cheated on Alcide with in their apartment right out of her head, and Debbie’s offering to fuck Sookie up, and Alcide’s not wearing a shirt, so I’m pretty confused by the part where Debbie would ever cheat on that. Damn. Anyway, Debbie doesn’t know anything about Bill (‘cause that’s what this is about), so she gets the boot. Also, Alcide trusts Sookie, which is very sweet and liable to get him killed. They take this whole thing to Alcide’s packmaster, a Colonel Flood, who’s too scared to do anything about Operation Werewolf but does reveal that Russell is the Vampire King of Mississippi. While Sookie reasonably assumes that if Russell doesn’t have Bill, he certainly must know where Bill is, she idiotically thinks that this means they should go see Russell for a chat. Russell wants to know what’s up with the creepy Sookie file, and Bill takes the dumbass tack of denying that it’s even his. Come on, Bill. Franklin might be crazy, but he’s very, very good at his job. Russell, however, has already figured out that telepathy runs in Sookie’s family and that maybe Bill was just interested in how it might work, but, more likely, his procurement role in the Queen’s court extends beyond snacks. Bill is so fucked. Cooter shows up, and Russell has a guard escort Bill back to his room. So very fucked. Bill’s hanging out in his unfortunate sport zip up jacket (this is not the look for Bill) when Cooter busts in and lets Bill know that he’s in Russell’s dog house. Also, Sookie is in Jackson fucking a werewolf. Bill falls for this but good, beating the crap out of Cooter and melting his guard’s face against the silver door. Alcide calls Sookie out to the other room and moves his giant body aside to reveal teeny little Bill. Sookie goes running into his arms, and their theme starts up on the soundtrack, but Bill’s got to be all business. Alcide needs to get Sookie out of there. It’s funny that Bill still thinks Sookie needs someone to protect her. She just likes having someone big around, so people don’t mess with her, but she’ll shovel a guy’s head clear off if she has to. So Bill’s all, “You have to go!” and Sookie’s all, “Not without you!” and Alcide’s all, “I trust Bill” because he’s all about the trust in this episode. It’s all for naught when Russell, the melted face guard, and Cooter bust in. Cooter kicks Alcide right in the junk because he’s apparently a sore loser on top of everything else, and the guard grabs Bill. Sookie’s getting chased all over the place, and poor Bill is completely wigging, and just when you think Eric’s going to fly up to the window for real this time, that white light comes bursting out of Sookie’s hands once again. Oh, holy man. The Mickens Are Gross, Again, Some More Sam’s given Dawn’s empty place to the Mickens. Joe Lee and Tommy are playing some weird game: Tommy’s throwing the garbage bags he pulls out of the van at Joe Lee a little too hard. Sam’s like, “What’s up with that?” and Melinda brushes it aside, saying it’s something they should only do in private because it’s totally okay to molest your kids as long as you draw the blinds. Melinda is the absolute worst of the three. Sam and Tommy drive off to Merlotte’s for work. Later that night, Joe Lee calls and starts screaming at Tommy to come home right the hell then, and Tommy’s like, “I’m at work, fool,” and hangs up. He asks to spend the night at Sam’s, “brother time,” and Sam agrees on the condition that Tommy clear it with his parents. He’s 18, Sam. Anyway, Sam and Tommy are watching some nature program, laughing and talking animals, when a drunk Joe Lee shows up, screaming and fighting about how Sam is not going to take Tommy away from him, and eventually clears off when he sees that Sam isn’t going to give an inch. Sam, however, finally hears the scary music that’s been playing this entire time and whirls to ask Tommy just what the hell happened to him. In other news:
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There was plenty of “Trouble” to be had in last night’s True Blood: Sam finally got a clue about his grody bio-family, Russell finally got a clue about Sookie’s real deal, and Eric finally got the Operation Werewolf clue he was looking for.
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