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Vampire Diaries: Nice is Overrated

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Written by April Yorke   
Wednesday, 13 October 2010 19:45

Photo: Bob Mahoney/The CWLast week's The Vampire Diaries, "Kill or Be Killed," certainly washed the bad taste of "Memory Lane" out of my mouth. With its focus on the shifting allegiances between the town's growing population of supernatural beasties, it seems Stefan was talking about more than just he and Damon when he said that Katherine "came here to destroy us." Looks like she came to destroy every damn person in town. Now we're getting somewhere. 

Stefan is the Nice Police

A year ago in Florida, a friend became convinced that Mason was banging his girlfriend. He wouldn't let up, and their fight quickly got out of hand. Mason accidentally cracked his friend's skull on the pavement, triggering the curse. Hey, remember Carter? Keep that in mind.

Early in the morning, Elena's dropped the werewolf bomb on Jeremy, in keeping with their no more secrets policy, and Jer's convinced, despite lack of evidence, that Tyler must be a wolf, too. Stefan appears in Elena's room, and they work out an "I love you" code for their continued public fighting. This is going to put a major strain on them, you guys.

Everyone's headed to the Fell Memorial Park Work Day! Okay, it probably had another name, and that name probably involved the damn Founders, but for some reason they are building a park near the falls, and the Fells get their name called out. Whatever. Stefan tries to make nicey-nice with Mason, essentially telling him that getting stabby is just Damon's way of making new friends. Mason's not buying, so Stefan goes from zero to threatening in the blink of an eye. There's the Stefan I know and love! He reminds Mason that there are two Salvatores to one wolf, and, furthermore, Mason's only at full strength during the full moon, and full strength wolf still doesn't match vampire. Damn. Mason still likes his chances, while Damon zooms up to hold Stefan by the face and generally get his HoYay on about how he really doesn't give a rat's ass about keeping the peace.

And what does Mason do with this threat? Run right over and tattle to the Sheriff about the Salvatore secret. Poor Sheriff goes from disbelief to denial to a lament that Damon is her friend. I practically tear up because that is so true. He loves her, really. Mason, however, offers a test.

In the meantime, Stefan and Elena have a faux fight for the eavesdropping Caroline and Damon's benefit, but Elena moronically picks it about a real issue: how can Stefan love and hate two women who look exactly the same? Things start to get real when Stefan cuts things off with their code, and Elena actually has to take a minute to remember her reply. Yeah, this is not good.

In the meantime, Mason and Damon agree that they are not interested in pursuing a friendship. Boy, is Damon ever going to mean that by the end of the episode. Mason wanders off followed by a Sheriff too wigged to look Damon in the eye. Damon gets a nice cool drink of vervain-laced lemonade and promptly starts hacking up a lung. Stefan and Damon realizes that Mason is a threat that must be neutralized. Yay!

Out in the woods, they confront Mason only to be shot down by the Sheriff and her deputies. Harsh, Sheriff. They drag the Brothers Salvatore off to the place where Mason was going to chain himself up that time, then Mason takes off before the boys bite it.

Back at the park, Caroline overhears the trouble. She and Elena run off, which is mildly stupid because only one of them can move at vampire speed, but okay. At the clearing, they find only Mason, who jumps pretty quickly from playing confused to throwing Elena in a half nelson and threatening to break her neck. Oo, wrong move, wolf boy. Caroline zips over there, breaks Elena free, knees Mason in the junk, then kicks him into a tree. YES! Vampire Caroline is the shit.

They run off to the remains of the old Lockwood plantation, where poor, betrayed Sheriff is torturing the conscious Damon and unconscious Stefan. It's the usual stuff: how did you go undetected so long, how can you walk in the day, why pretend to be my friend. Of course, only the third question is relevant, so it's the only one Damon answers. He wasn't pretending. See? This shit is sad! Also sad are the two rounds of wooden bullets the Sheriff fires through his kneecaps. At any rate, she wants to stake them and burn the bodies to make double sure because she's my kind of Sheriff.

In the meantime, Caroline realizes that it's her mom down there and panics over the saving the Salvatores vs. being outed as a vamp dilemma. Elena, however, runs right in. Aw, it's just like the time Stefan got himself locked in that tomb just because he heard Elena scream. Aw! Work it out, you two! Right, point is, Caroline semi-sort of does the right thing: she zips in, kills the two deputies, and is all, "Yo, Mom. Vampire now." Poor Sheriff. This is not her day.

Damon helps himself to some dead deputy blood to speed along the healing process while Stefan pointedly abstains, and I cannot believe that the deputies aren't dosing, vervain-style. That's . . . beside the point, I suppose. A shaken Sheriff doesn't know what to do with a vampire daughter. Damon, however, isn't going to kill her because (say it with me now) they're friends. Seriously, this is starting to get to me.

Down in the Salvatore Self-Pity Cellar, Sheriff's holing up for a few days until the vervain's out of her system, and Damon can compel her to forget about everyone's vampire status. In the meantime, Sheriff asks Damon to keep Caroline away from her. Since Caroline is eavesdropping, Damon tries to get Sheriff to see things differently: Caroline's still her daughter. Sadly, Sheriff takes the same tack Giuseppe did all those years ago: not any more. Harsh, Sheriff. You are one tough mother this episode. Also, what about Mason? He is one hell of a loose end here.

Outside, Stefan's contemplating the deep freeze o' blood. Elena sees him, and they fight for real: Stefan thinks that human blood is the only thing that will give him the edge over Katherine. Elena does not point out that Damon drinks human blood aplenty yet has no edge where Katherine's concerned. I let this slide because it's not like we've seen Damon try to kill K. Elena does point out that Stefan can't control himself on the juice. Stefan counters that Katherine's made herself immune to vervain. He can learn to control his bloodlust, too. How very Babylon Revisited of you, Stefan. Instead of point out that a tolerance to hemlock is not the same as a controllable heroin addiction, Elena takes off.

Upstairs, Elena tries to send Caroline on her way, so Caroline confesses that that she's afraid to go home because Katherine will be there expecting a full Stefan/Elena relationship report. Elena admits that she knows as much but asks why Caroline sold out her best friend and her brother (I am telling you, they are family now) this way. Unlike what we learned last week, it seems Katherine also threatened Matt. Caroline didn't know what to do. Personally, my answer would always be, "Go see Stefan." I'm sure he could have figured something out.

Damon comes upstairs, and Elena softens toward him slightly, telling him that the Damon who spared Sheriff is the Damon who was her friend. In turn, Damon gently drops some truth (?) on her: she knows, deep down, that Stefan's right about the human blood. He heads off to . . . no idea. I can't even figure out where Caroline's gone.

Stefan comes upstairs, and Elena's decided that if Stefan's going to suffer, she should, too. She grabs a giant knife they just have lying around and stabs herself in the direct centre of her palm. Elena, you have these things, fingertips? You can prick one and get a good amount of blood going without the possibility of nerve damage. Just an FYI for next time. Stefan's bloodlust kicks in, and he laps up the small pool of blood from Elena's palm. He pulls back, and they both wait for the bloodlust to recede. As it does, another kind of lust kicks in. Yup, it's a sex game now.

And now, back to Carter: no sooner has Mason accidentally killed his awfully persistent friend than another friend pushes her way through the crowd. It's Katherine. That's right kids. Bitch compelled dead friend and forced the curse to take hold. She gives Mason an oddly intimate hug. More on this in a moment. We're off to join the . . .

Girls Who Don't Know How to Take a Hint

Mason still wants that moonstone; Tyler still doesn't want to hand it over. At the Grill, Jeremy and Tyler pick up some girls who are equally un-civic-minded. At the Lockwood Mansion, plying the girls with alcohol seems to be going alright until the nosy one (aka, the one who isn't Aimee from "Bad Moon Rising") snatches Jer's sketch book out of his bag. It's filled, filled, with werewolf drawings he could have only done this morning alone since he just found out about the wolves. The best part is that none of the art is particularly good.

Anyway, Tyler pretty much drags Jeremy into another room by his ear and nearly chokes the life out of him trying to find out what Jeremy knows. Jeremy claims he knows what Tyler is. Tyler, because he has no friends and because he and Jer and slowly falling in love anyway, spills the whole thing about how he's not a werewolf because he hasn't triggered the curse, how the curse works, how his uncle the wolf is on him for the moonstone. Jer's like, "That shit is heavy," but falls short of outing the vampires or the fact that he comes from a long line of vampire hunters. I find Jer's character development touching. Cue nosy girl coming in and running off with the stone. 

Tyler gives chase, but she wants Jeremy to chase after her. Girl does not know how to read a room. Tyler and the girl struggle over the stone, and girl goes tumbling down the stairs. She lies lifeless at the bottom for a minute, then shortly thereafter pops up, undamaged. Vampire? Store that one away for now. These near-fatal shenanbons put the more reasonable Aimee off, and they peace.

Having almost killed two people today, Tyler decides he wants no part of the Lockwood curse and hands over the moonstone to Mason.

And just what does Mason do with that stone? Hand it over to Katherine, who he is most assuredly banging. Things just got very interesting. 

In other news:

  • Still no Bonnie or Matt. 
  • "But I don't want peace." "Well, consider it Opposite Day."
  • "Ooh, scary . . . demon wolf thing."
  • Damon forgets a cardinal rule of horror: never trust the children. What, adults don't serve vervain-laced lemonade.
  • Lady Mayor is certainly taking a shine to her duties.
  • Katherine apparently told Mason to stay away from Stefan and Damon. Does that mean he didn't instantly recognize them as vamps? I am so confused about this.

On October 21st: Katherine claims that having the moonstone back means that we all live happily ever after; Damon wants Bonnie to help him kill Mason and Katherine; Katherine gives Elena a call.

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Last Updated on Thursday, 14 October 2010 11:49
 

April Yorke is a (Cult)ure Magazine contributor since Wednesday, 07 January 2009.

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