Vampire Diaries: Puppy with a Tutu
|Written by April Yorke|
|Thursday, 07 October 2010 16:51|
Last week’s The Vampire Diaries, “Memory Lane,” was hard for me to digest. I’ve been sitting on it all week. At first I thought that the A Plot didn’t work for me because it involved a lot of sitting around and talking. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I just didn’t like “Memory Lane.” It had all the elements of a good Vampire Diaries episode: loads of action, great acting, good tension. It even boasted Katherine and Elena coming face-to-face and a hint of shirtless Salvatore. So why didn’t it work? Because suddenly everyone’s a moron.
“I could rip you to shreds and do my nails at the same time."
Katherine’s invading Stefan’s dreams. Nice touch, we haven’t seen that particular trick in a while. She’s forcing him to remember when they were terrible dancers and whipping up scenarios in which he has to suffer the sight of Elena and Damon the same way that the sight of Stefan and Elena is suffering for her. Because that’s a solid tactic? What’s her argument there? He should come back to her to make her feel better about the fact that he’s moved on? Well, okay then.
Awake, Katherine reminds Stefan that she could kick his ass six ways from Sunday (I . . . kind of want to see this), so there’s no use fighting. You know what would be useful? Moving a damn human into that house. When are there going to be any consequences for Zach’s death? Surely the Council will grow suspicious of his absence eventually. Stefan decides that if he can't make her go away, he can at least try to pump Katherine for information about werewolves. She’s more interested in pushing her reconciliation agenda. Stefan’s caught between disbelief and disinterest as far as that’s concerned, so he fakes Katherine out with a kiss to plunge one of Alaric’s fab vervain darts into her back. Does he then stake her through the heart, cut off her head, and burn the house down just to make triple sure? He does not.
Down in the vervain grow-op/torture/detox/self-pity cellar, Stefan chains Katherine up and proceeds to torture her with vervain fronds and conversation about her motives. Are you for real? Who the hell cares why she’s here when you can stake her and put an end to whatever she has planned? This is the most logical solution. It will also save you and your loved ones from further violence and torture. I hate this. The show dictates that Katherine must go on, so she’s kept alive for reasons inorganic to the characters. Stefan’s demonstrated time and again that he is by far the most badass vampire on this show, beyond capable of taking down anyone who presents a threat to Elena. Ugh.
Their many, many words boil to two essentially points: 1) Human Stefan’s love for Katherine was not compelled and 2) Katherine used her knowledge of the fact that George Lockwood was a werewolf to ensure her escape from the Great Vampire Round-Up of 1864. She also gave him the moonstone that Mason wants so badly, and she may have another secret that George knew about. Finally, she really did love Stefan and promised to come back for him.
So many questions, none of them likely to be answered, but here are a top three:
Anyway, Katherine’s been faking the whole chained-up thing this entire time because she pulled a Princess Bride to make herself immune to vervain, and those restraints suck. Once Elena shows up, Katherine confronts her to be crytic and vaguely threatening (when asked why they look exactly the same, Katherine tells Elena that she’s asking the wrong questions). Stefan pulls the stake Katerine put in his leg out, zips upstairs, and chases Katherine away. Of course, if the show hadn’t necessitated that he back off from staking her the two times he almost did, none of this would be happening. So unbelievable and stupid.
Later at the Grill, Elena takes Caroline up on her Katherine-mandated advice to stop dating a vampire, and Stefan takes Katherine up on her advice to stop dating Elena lest Katherine kill Elena right in front on him. In other words, they stage a fake break up for the eavesdropping Caroline’s benefit (though not to the benefit of an eavesdropping Damon), then reunite at Elena’s place. Poor Stefan remarks that even though he knew it was fake, it felt real. Yes, immortals dating humans has a shelf life unless you do something about it. How they don’t know Katherine’s eavesdropping right now is beyond me. At any rate, the relationship’s on the d/l for now.
“I’m going to find Mason Lockwood and put some silver in him.”
I want you to understand that this is Damon’s entire plot for the episode. And it is so stupid. I suspect Damon has a supernatural creature quota in his own mind for Mystic Falls, so he runs around trying to kill various werewolves and witches and vampires to keep that number to where he thinks it ought to be. Anyway, at Alaric’s behest, Jenna throws the lamest BBQ possible, so that Damon can oh-so-obviously attempt to out Mason as a werewolf. I have no idea why he even thinks this is necessary. I also have no idea why vampires and werewolves can recognize each other so easily, but vampires can’t tell humans and vampires apart. That night outside the Grill, Mason offers Damon a truce, saying he has no interest in pursuing a vampire/werewolf grudgematch, but Damon is too shortsighted to see the advantages of this. He opts instead to plunge a giant silver knife he lifted from Jenna into Mason’s heretofore healthy torso. Looks like silver doesn’t actually work on these wolves, though. Mason pulls out the knife and warns Damon that he made an enemy when he could have made an ally. No shit. Dude needs help with his restraints! You could be the one to control those puppies and, therefore, this puppy, Damon. Gah.
In other news:
Tonight: Caroline’s secret is out.
|Last Updated on Thursday, 07 October 2010 07:03|