Posted by: Lauren on Feb 15, 2012
RuPaul's Drag Race: Wrestling's Trashiest Fighters
Last week, a RuPocalypse gave us creepy looks from Sharon Needles and not really anyone else. Jiggly Caliente was given a second chance, while recent DUI-recoveree Alisa Summers was sent sashaying away. We will not miss her.
One second is spent mourning the loss of Alisa and discussing how Lashauwn needs to speak up before SheMail arrives. It is cryptic, as always, and then Mr. Ru gives them this week's mini challenge. The girls get 30 minutes to sculpt an ass out of various padding materials. The results are ridiculous, and all of their new butts are like lumpy and stuff.
The winners are Phi Phi O'Hara, WIllam, and Chad Michaels. As winners, they get to be team captains for the main challenge this week, which is a pro-wrestling match, drag-style.
The teams are grouped up and each team will have two Faces (Heroes) and two Heels (Villans). Each group has a taped segment "backstage" and then take their beef to the ring. I don't really have comments about their wrestling bouts…I don't understand the draw to this kind of "wrestling". I get that it is about fake drama and themes of good versus evil, but it isn't something I really connect with. Cursory comments on each of the performances are below.
Willam, Dida Ritz, The Princess and Jiggly Caliente
On this team, The Princess is singled out as the weak link for her lacklustre performance in the ring. She doesn't have the energy or performance that her other team members bring. Willam takes the wrestling challenge as another opportunity to mention that she has been on "every major network". Blah. No one cares! Jiggly brings all sorts of attitude, and in comparison, The Princess barely registers.
Phi Phi O'Hara, Latrice Royale, Lashauwn Beyond and Kenya Michaels
Latrice stands out as the "best" at this challenge. She is loud and brings the performance. Kenya also brings tons of crazy, tiny energy, and mostly just leaps up and down. Team members worry that Lashauwn won't be smart enough to figure out the challenge, but he really does fine.
Chad Michaels, Madame LaQueer, Sharon Needles and Milan
On this team, there is a lot of annoying talk about Madame LaQueer (one of the big girls), and how she has some sort of injury to her ankle. It is mentioned again and again, but then it isn't an issue at all during the performance. It strikes me as a case of someone who is insecure about their physical abilities making an excuse for a potentially poor performance. We'll see if this is theme that comes back with Madame in the future.
Kenya Michaels brings a Lil' Kim look to the mainstage. Her super short pink dress shows off her tiny frame.
Lashauwn Beyond: I really like Lashauwn's runway look this week. She is wearing a bright red dress with gumballs on it, and the look is fun and flirty.
Sharon Needles: I was interested to see what Sharon's "glam" look would be, as we have only really seen her in the goth/zombie garb so far. She doesn't exactly pull it off, but there is an element of tragic beauty to her that kind of works. Michelle Visage calls her a lost Arquette sister, which is just about right. For her part, Sharon knows this isn't her strength (and openly admits she finds overtly girly look boring) and works with what she does do well.
Jiggly Caliente: After the absolute mess Jiggly presented on the mainstage last week, this look is much more put-together, but also fairly boring. It looks like a Barbie dress, but not even a good one.
MIlan: Milan is wearing a sheer leopard print dress that is flouncy and fun. She has a really pretty face and she works the runway.
Madame LaQueer: I don't love Madame's look this week. It is a turquoise dress that is sort of a 50s style housedress, but slutted up and short. She also wears the horrible contacts, which doesn't help.
Dida Ritz: Dida manages to look smoking hot, despite her really crappy dress (it is basically a long white t-shirt), and that janky wig. I don't know if she just doesn't have a nicer one, but they are not going to let her get away with such a mess on her head for long. The judges comment on this during their deliberation, but do not mention it to Dida (that we see).
Chad Michaels: Chad is wearing a hot pink prom slutty prom dress, and the look mostly works. My problem with Chad (as ever) is that because he looks so much like Cher (The Peanut Gallery and I have decided he most certainly has had work done to look more like her), it just looks like Cher wearing something odd.
The Princess: The Princess has a rocker look going this week, and I don't mind it at all. The problem here is her messed up red wig, which is styled all over to one side, making her look crazy. It kind of fits with the rocker look, but it ain't purty.
Phi Phi O'Hara: Initially, I liked Phi Phi's look, but after hearing the judge's comments to her, I agree that she looks really old. She reminds me of Sophia Loren…now. I think her make up is the major problem.
Latrice Royale: Latrice is wearing a hot pink mini skirt with another shade of hot pink in a flowy shirt on top. My first thought on the look was that it is exactly something you would see an "above average" sized lady wearing at Wal-Mart. Not a great reference. I just think Latrice could do a whole lot better.
Willam: Willam's look is described by Billy B. as being "Toddlers and Tiaras", and I definitely see that. The Peanut Gallery points out that Willam sort of has man-face when he is in drag, and that is not a good thing. We get the feeling that Willam thinks she is just so naturally pretty that she doesn't have to beat her face to become more of a lady.
Ms. Ru is in a fun colourful gown this week, and she is rocking some awesome curly hair again. Other judges include Michelle Visage, Billy B. (who always teaches us about makeup and beating our faces), as well as two NBA stars, Rick Fox and John Salley. The guest judges are pretty boring, and don't contribute all too much.
Ru announces that team Chad Michaels wins the wrestling challenge. Madame LaQueer and Chad Michaels win a selection of wigs, which is awesome. No one wins immunity.
Latrice Royale, Kenya Michales and Phi Phi O'Hara are all safe. Jiggly is also safe. The Princess and LaShauwn Beyond are in the bottom, and of course, this means that they will have to lip sync……for their liiiiiiiiiiives!!
The ladies are syncing to "Bad Girls" by Donna Summer. The Princess just looks really crazy with her weird hair. Willam gives us a fun insight into the drag world when she tells us that Lashauwn's drag mother would give her shit for not even starting the song in shoes and for wearing closed-toe pantyhose instead. Apart from the no-shoes thing, The Princess is more appropriately theatrical and more on-target with the lip syncing.
Apparently this pantyhose sin is cardinal, because Ru dismisses LaShauwn to go sashaying away.
- John Salley: "She was going for Sex in the City, and it was more like Sex in the Alley" Ru: "Well, hey, I'm not going to turn that down either"
- A couple of the girls said that they were "serving up fish" this week on the mainstage. I have no idea what this means and I am afraid to google it.
- "To do the whole song with no shoes? In closed-toe pantyhose? Like a web-footed duck?" - Who knew Willam was so wise.
- Lashauwn Beyond really did seem like she was too simple for the competition. I will miss her dumb ass.
- Last word goes to the Peanut Gallery again: "You gotta be large and in-charge! Either bring some damn personality, or go home".