Posted by: Lauren on Apr 9, 2012
Last week, Phi Phi O'Hara finally did well and won a challenge. Jiggly Caliente was sent sashaying away, probably a few episodes late. SheMail arrives and it is a strange one where Ms. Ru fights with her frenemy…who is Ms. Ru. Mr. Ru introduces the mini-challenge, which is a fun one where the girls have to take a lie detector test. The most hilarious question is repeated in some form for each player. "If X were the last ladyboy on earth, would you kai kai with her". Yes, I had to look up the spelling and possible use of that. It turns out everyone would kai kai with Latrice. Good things to know. These lie detectors are used to gauge the girls' personalities, and then they are paired up with another girl that they are different from. The pairs are Dida Ritz & Chad Michaels, Latrice Royale & Willam, and Phi Phi & Sharon. The challenge is to stage a production of some new original song. The big twist is that they won't be syncing the song, they will be singing it live. For many of these girls, this is a problem because they don't sing.
During the Ru visit, we learn that the ladies will be judged as a team, so the bottom team will have to lip sync for their liiiives against each other. That adds some interesting drama to the mix. The next day, the teams get a chance to work with Ru's music partner and producer, Lucian Piane, who will give them feedback on their numbers. Details of each of the rehearsals are below, but in general, none of the people know the song well enough.
Ru is a vision in flowing green satin. Fabulous. Other judges are Michelle Visage, Lucian, and special guests Jennifer Tilly and Pamela Anderson.
Dida and Chad: Ru's visit with this team shows that they are both a bit dull. In rehearsal, these two don't seem to know their lines very well, and their choreography is a mess. Their performance is much better, but Dida has a real problem singing. She is nervous and her voice keeps cracking. The performance just isn't as good as the other two. As Chad points out, "[They] sound like two dead cats".
Sharon and Phi Phi: During Ru's visit, these two debut a weird thing where Phi Phi sings like a crappy faux-opera singer and Sharon is screeching in a heavy-metal style. Their rehearsal with Lucian is hilarious. Lucian just looks genuinely lost at Phi Phi's stupid opera voice, and by the end of the rehearsal, she isn't doing it at all anymore. When it comes to the performance, it is a mixed bag. Their timing is a little bit off, and Phi Phi's voice is just annoying. She certainly toned it down from the rehearsal, but she thinks she is "Christina Agliera" as Sharon put it.
Latrice and Willam: Latrice and Willam are working very decently together. During their rehearsal, they are a bit of a mess. They don't know the lines, and Latrice particularly gets lost a few times. The morning of the show, Willam is in a major funk. She isn't talking to people and gets easily annoyed. For the most part, their performance is very good. They strip down at the end of the routine, and Willam has put Latrice in a really cute corset. The judges like all of the jokes, and Latrice rocks the physical comedy (so does Willam, for that matter).
The judges like Latrice and Willam, and like Dida and Chad and Sharon and Phi Phi less. Dida wasn't really polished, and Sharon and Phi Phi didn't land any jokes.
Unsurprisingly, Latrice and Willam win. They win corsets from some hilarious website. During Ru's announcement of the bottom two, Willam inexplicable vomits off the stage. There is no explanation for it, and it is gross (or "not cute" as Latrice says).
Sharon Needles and Phi Phi O'Hara are the bottom two, and will be lip syncing for their liiiiiiiivves. They are syncing to "It's Raining Men, the Sequel" by RuPaul and Martha Wash. This is a song I need for my running playlist, people. Both girls bring tons of energy to the routine, but Phi Phi steps out of her shoes almost immediately and then loses her wig very quickly too. We know Michelle does not enjoy this, which bodes well for Sharon's (rightful) victory. After the syncing is done, Ru calls Willam back on the stage. She commends Willam for winning the challenge, but then says that she has broken the rules and will have to leave the show. We get absolutely no other explanation, and Sharon and Phi Phi are both spared this week. Come on, Ru! You have to tell us what she did!
- Seriously! What did Willam do? I have done fairly extensive research on this, and no one knows. They say it will be revealed in the reunion show…but I worry we will never know! Signs point to an abuse of booze and drugs, what with the throwing up onstage, but that is all we know.
- Ru's visit to Sharon and Phi Phi in rehearsals was great. He looks genuinely concerned about Phi Phi's mental state as she is trying that ridiculous Disney voice.
- The same goes for the rehearsal with Lucian. He is just openly laughing at Phi Phi's terrible voice and he looks truly bewildered.
- "I loved their voices together, but then, I'm tone-deaf"- Pamela Anderson was funny!
- They introduced Jennifer Tilly as "Academy Award" Nominee, Jennifer Tilly, which you know I had to look up. Apparently she was nominated for her role in a Woody Allen film, Bullets over Broadway in 1994. She lost to a co-star of her film, Dianne Wiest.
- I wouldn't say that I am going to miss Willam, but I give him credit for representing a different background and being very pretty. In honour of his dishonourable discharge, here is an abridged version of his filmography. You know, the one he wouldn't shut the eff up about? His biggest hits include: Because I Said (which once had a 6% rating on Rotten Tomatoes), Boston Public, Southland, American Wedding, and Sex and the City. Eeks.
- Last word goes to the Peanut Gallery, "You gotta play by the rules. A queen's gotta have integrity to make it to the top".