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I came to know female ejaculation when I experienced it for the first time several years ago after some routine quality time with my vibrator. As I reached orgasm, at the peak of my pleasure, a rather significant amount of fluid was expelled from my body and I was admittedly left in a bit of a state of confusion. I didn't really believe that it was urine, but it was the only explanation that made any sense. Sure, I was used to wetness and vaginal fluids that provided welcome lubrication, but what liquid could possibly shoot out of my vulva with such force, other than pee?
My curiosity left me with no choice. I had to smell it.
When the wet spot on my bed didn't smell like pee, I wondered, "Could it be? Do women ejaculate, too?" My ensuing Google search validated my suspicion: I had experienced the seemingly elusive occurrence of female ejaculation.
I have since become slightly obsessed with the topic.
Since female ejaculation remains a mystery for many people, it's worth exploring. Learning about female ejaculation, why it may or may not happen, how to recognize it, and how to trigger it, can enhance your sexual activity and pleasure, as well as widen your understanding of female sexuality.
Female Ejaculation 101
When it comes to the female body, there are essentially two types of sexual response fluid that are clinically referred to as female prostate and vaginal ejaculation fluids.
Vaginal ejaculate is well recognized in our culture. As the one most commonly seen in our culture, vaginal ejaculate lubricates the vaginal walls and secretes out during sexual arousal, creating that familiar "wetness." This fluid is also used as the vagina cleans itself and helps keep infections away.
The lesser known female prostate ejaculation fluid is pushed out of the urethra (where pee comes out) during sexual arousal. This fluid comes from the kidneys and the paraurethral or Skene's glands (also known as the female prostate, located under the G-spot area).
The fluid has a water-like consistency. It looks clear or milky white, like skim milk. The amount produced can vary greatly from a few drops to a quarter of a cup, or even more in some reported cases (you can find videos online if you don't believe me). For many women, the fluid shoots out; this is why female ejaculation is often referred to colloquially as 'squirting' or 'gushing.' For some women, however, the fluid just seeps out. As a result, it's less noticeable, making it harder for the scientific community to determine the prevalence of female ejaculation. Moreover, some research shows that not all women actually have Skene's glands, making it more challenging to know who is capable of having this kind of sexual response.
Female Ejaculation: Past and Present
According to Dr. Sharon Moalem, author of How Sex Works, female ejaculation has been recognized since antiquity when Hippocrates made mention of it in his treatise On Seed and the Nature of the Child. It was also written about in the original Kama Sutra, and later in early twentieth century American books on sex and marriage.
A wave of Puritanism in the United States in the 1950s seemed to quash discussion of female ejaculation and a lot of sex-related matters. According to Dr. Moalem, "Female sexuality, in general, was relegated to the back burner, or shoved off the stove entirely." It wasn't until the second wave feminist movement and the sexual revolution that a renewed focus was placed on female sexuality and female orgasm.
In 1981, a groundbreaking paper by sexologists Beverly Whipple and John Perry reported a case of one woman ejaculating under the close eye of a team of researchers. Today, female ejaculation is widely accepted among the scientific community, though there are still detractors doubting its existence. Sexology surveys estimate that around 10 percent of women ejaculate during orgasm, although some studies report as high as 69 percent of women.
When I put a call out on Facebook for friends to share with me their stories and experiences about female ejaculation, the response rate was disappointingly low. This lack of response could be indicative of shyness among friends or perhaps they had absolutely nothing to share. Given the 10 percent prevalence rate quoted by some studies, it wouldn't be surprising.
Of those friends who did bravely email me (all females), I found their experiences were similar to my own - it happened a limited number of times and all respondents had initially suspected they peed the first time it happened. The method of stimulation varied - female ejaculation occurred either by clitoral stimulation with a sex toy, penis/vagina insertion sex (the woman-on-top position was mentioned, but others didn't specify), or digital stimulation of the G-spot by a partner.
Learning to Let Go
If you are looking to trigger female ejaculation, a lot of the how-to literature focuses on the G-spot, which is located in the area of the vagina along the upper wall, though the actual spot could differ among females. Female ejaculation isn't necessarily or solely triggered by the G-spot since it can happen from sexual arousal through any means of stimulation. In my experience, targeting the G-spot seems like the easiest way to trigger ejaculation. Once the G-spot is found, you can work on stimulating it, whichever way works best for you (i.e. during intercourse or masturbation; with fingers or sex toys; and the list goes on). Sex shops sell sex toys that are specifically designed to stimulate the G-spot. These could end up being a big help.
As mentioned earlier, women may be confusing the onset of female ejaculation with an intense urge to pee. This is a common sensation felt, especially when the G-spot/anterior wall of the vagina is being stimulated. Not knowing that the feeling is actually a signal of ejaculation, those who may be embarrassed to pee during sexual activity would likely hold back. As Dr. Moalem says, not holding back "requires letting go of a lifetime of training when it comes to bodily fluids in bed."
Another consideration to keep in mind is that variability, when it comes to female sexual response, is seen as the rule, not the exception. That is, it is understood in the scientific community that it is perfectly "normal" for women to experience sexual arousal different ways - whether they reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation or G-spot stimulation, and so on. Given that research is showing that some women don't even have Skene's glands, it is pretty safe to say some women might never experience female ejaculation. So when it comes to seeking pleasure, the focus should be on enjoyment throughout the process rather than a sole end goal of a gushing climax. They say happiness is a journey. Well, so is pleasure.
References:
HolisticWisdom.com
How Sex Works: Why We Look, Smell, Taste, Feel, and Act the Way We Do, by Dr. Sharon Moalem. Harper, 2009.
"Stumbling on the path to G-spot utopia", by Regina Nuzzo, LA Times, July 21, 2008.
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