Winter Sex Need Not Be Boring

So the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful and since you've no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it . . . hello! Ah, winter sex, how much better can it get? When it's frantic, slippery and wet outside, what better way to pass your time than recreating those exact conditions inside.

But unlike summer lovin' where anything goes, pretty much anywhere, keeping it interesting during the winter months may prove a little more challenging. It's not as fun to roll around a snowbank in your -40°C Canadian snowsuit as it is ducking out into a cornfield during a roadtrip. Yeah, a cornfield; try it before you knock it.

The best way I found to keep it hot during the chill of winter usually involves a trip to my local sex shop. Now, I'm not saying you have to spend a fortune to get some good lovin' (although be prepared to dole out some hard-earned cash), you just need to know what to look for. So, for all of you curious, bored, and adventurous folk out there, here is a brief list of how to make for a great night in:

Lubricants

Yes, lube. You scoff and say you don't need it? Let me tell you, even though your body is fully capable of creating its own juices, just a couple drops will take your experience to an entirely new level.

Silicon: There is a magical substance out there called silicon, and boy, does it slide. Silicon-based lubricants are synthetic and stay slippery longer than water-based products. They're fairly safe for those with skin allergies and can even be used in the shower and tub. In saying that, they don't wash off very easily. Because they are water resistant, they have the potential to stain clothes, sheets, and whatever furniture you are currently defiling. Keep that in mind when you're pouring it on.

Water-based: These go well beyond your typical pharmacy KY, and contrary to popular belief they are not watery. You can get them in many different consistencies from extra thin to pudding thick (yes, I said pudding). The downside, they do dry up, which means they need to be reapplied, and they do feel sticky or tacky when you do so. Upside: they generally don't stain your 300 thread count white sheets, and they wash off with a damp cloth, making for a very quick cleanup.

Extras: Here's how far we've come with lubricants: you can get them flavored, scented, and now, with a touch of warming. But look out: flavors and scents are often achieved by adding sugars and glycerin (especially in the water-based brands) and if you are prone to yeast infections or have sensitive skin, avoid avoid avoid! They will make you miserable. As for the warming effect, I'm not a fan considering that, in my experiences, it has often turned into a burning effect.

There is a lot to pick from. Most of the better shops will have a wall dedicated to lubricants alone, but read the labels carefully and, when in doubt, ask the clerks. If it is a good shop they'll be able to provide you with more information because some do have restrictions on them and cannot be combined with certain products or toys. Yes, toys . . .

Toys

From vibrators smaller than a AA battery to giant rubber fists that make you clench just looking at them, there are trinkets to satisfy every mood.

Vibrators: I will advise you to invest in a good one. Save your pennies, skip a week if you must, but you will be glad you bought the better quality, otherwise: it will sound like a lawnmower when you turn it on, it will not offer you very many speed options (the cheap ones usually comes with only one speed: brain-rattling turbo), it will eat through your batteries, and they most likely will not be waterproof. The beauty of the female sexual revolution is that we now have options! Vibrators and dildos come in all sorts of lengths, widths, textures, and accessories (yeah really, accessories), and for every budget there is a choice.

Male Toys: Yes, there is a market out there for you guys. Rubber mouths and genitals, replicas of porn stars and fantasy girls can usually be found in some part of the store. But here are the facts: they are expensive and bulky, one size does not fit all, they are a pain to clean, and you can't really tuck them under your pillow at the end of the night. Unless you'll be away from your partner for an extended period of time, they're not worth the hassle.

Games: You know, those couple's bedroom games, the sexy party games. Well, let me tell you something about spending sixty dollars on a sexy game: go to Wal-Mart and buy yourself a Scrabble board. You'll probably get more excitement from it anyway. While most of the couples games are a good idea, many of them are either so lame that you end up throwing the board against the wall after thirty minutes, or so weird that you'll continually flip through the cards thinking, "Ha! Like I'm going to do that!" The party games are a good concept, but only if you're planning on taking your friendship to the next level. They're funny, but you will probably end up knowing more about the people you've chosen to play it with than you wanted to. Brace yourself.

Outfits

I'm talking about that little ensemble your partner keeps nagging you about. And, believe it or not, it's just as much for you as it is for them.

The Negligee: My favorite accessory to a steamy night is a skimpy negligee that screams look how lucky you are to be with me. And for those of you who are wondering, no, I'm not a size zero, I'm not even a size six, but it doesn't matter because there are outfits out there to fit any body size. Corsets are great because you can adjust the ties to accent your figure and many of the pieces come with adjustable straps, so just because it doesn't fit right off the hanger, doesn't mean it won't fit. They are not cheap, and sometimes you'll spend the better part of your shopping experience figuring out how to get into them, but on the upside, it will elicit the Christmas morning response from your partner time and time again. I suppose it's a good thing they're usually never on for more than ten minutes.

The costume: Yeah, weird at first, but it can be fun, especially if you're an ADD child like me. It lets you step into your alter ego without that annoying awkwardness. Have you ever wanted to try being dominant? Submissive? Slutty? Cute? Well, here is your chance. You don't even need to get an entire wardrobe to play the part, just a few pieces you would never wear often do the trick. (Gentlemen, this goes for you, too.) Don't fret, though; the 'lame-assed' feeling usually wears off once the groping begins.

So now that you're equipped with the goods, here are a couple of interesting tricks I've gathered from friends that can really make for an interesting night:

The Pick-Up Date: A friend of mine plays this with her partner all the time. It allows them to feel 'single' again. They will agree on a bar or club to meet at and head out at different times during the night, usually from an evening with their friends and then one will try to pick up the other. Comments from the forefront: usually ends in really aggressive sex.

The Lunch-hour Romp: Puts a whole new meaning to fast food. Generally, you'll need a safe location or a really good parking spot for this and, apparently, it makes the afternoon a lot more fun as your coworkers wonder why you're constantly walking around with that stupid grin on your face.

So go on, take a trip out to the Adult Fun Superstore or Aren't We Naughty, and see what's out there. For those who've never ventured that way before, I assure you it's not that sleazy magazine store you've been told about any longer. The temperature is only going to continue dropping, so what better time to turn up the heat. Enjoy!

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