If any of you have been subjected this holiday season to the world's worst Christmas song "the Christmas Shoes", please do yourselves a favour and listen to Patton Oswalt's hilarious takedown of it here, you won't be sorry (after the jump):

Last night we hit up Bluesfest for Hole, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, and Louis C.K. I wasn't entirely sure how we were going to see Joan and Louis simultaneously, but we figured we'd give it a try. At the information tent, a nice man informed us that we would need to get a stamp in order to leave the main festival area, cut through the War Museum, and pop into the comedy tent. No problem.

After Hole's set, featuring a delightfully spacey Courtney Love demanding cigarettes and set changes to reflect her bluesy birthday mood, we zipped around trying to figure out where we could get these magical stamps. Turns out what you actually need to do is get your ticket scanned as you leave and then again when you re-enter.* As we prepared to enter the comedy stage, my best friend's ticket scanned easily, while mine caused a giant red STOP to appear on the screen. Some sort of manager took me aside to explain that Louis C.K. is "a $45 dollar ticket, and they're sold out." Reasons why this is bullshit:

• When purchasing our tickets, we told the girl at the kiosk in the Rideau Centre that we want to go see Louis C.K. At no point did she mention that that requires some sort of additional fee.
• We bought out tickets at the same place, at the same time, and paid the same price. So why does one get in and one get left out?

In the end we caught all of Joan Jett and the Blackhearts' amazing set, so there's no real harm done, except for the part where it's bootsauce not to tell people that they are going to have to pay more. That's it! That's all you have to do! Just tell them. So, if you are planning to go see Lewis Black on July 17, that's going to be an additional $45. And the tickets are probably sold out.

Friday

Dale Smith Gallery is pleased to present "The Return of the Beothuk," an exhibition of recent paintings by Nova Scotia artist Jonathan Howse (pictured, First Europeans). In "The Return of the Beothuk," Jonathan combines stories and images of the Beothuk, his own family history, and issues faced by Newfoundlanders today to explore how the lessons of the past may provide solutions for the future. Please contact the gallery for more information or images of exhibition work.
July 9 - August 1 |  Vernissage: Friday, July 9, 7- 10 PM | 137 Beechwood Ave.

One Night Only Exhibit
Lyle Richardson
New Pastel & Watercolour on Paper
Friday July 9, 2010 / 7-10 pm
La Petite Mort Gallery | 306 Cumberland Street

Galerie McKenzie Marcotte at 26 Sully Rd. in Wakefield Quebec is pleased to present “Attitudes and Expressions,” an exhibition of wood fired sculpture by Raymond Warren. The vernissage will take place on Friday July 9 at 7 pm. The exhibition continues until August 3, 2010.

Confession: last night's episode of The Good Guys, "$3.52," was the first episode that I managed to catch from the beginning, i.e. the moment that we rewind from and catch up to. As a trope, I don't much care for it, but even I had to wonder why Jack and Dan were in candlelight and preparing to jump out of . . .  something . . ., guns blazing.

More importantly, I laughed out loud twice (!) last night. Thanks to Colin Hanks and particularly Bradley Whitford, the show often manages to salvage jokes that someone should have thought about for two more minutes, but even then it's rarely beyond the level of a guffaw. Of course, Whitford was responsible for both of those jokes, so that may have helped.

I should also admit that I just sort of love Julius, so, when Dan tackled him into garbage, complaining that having to chase him down in a mall parking garage really puts a damper on their cop-informant relationship, I'll admit that I was just pleased to see Julius. But then when he delighted asks (!) to hug Dan, Whitford's hesitation really sells the moment. Of course, Dan must become a hugger by episode's end and act like Jack's the one with the problem, but even that worked for me.

Every once and while I get into the idea of theme songs: for people, for events, for specific days. I'm known in certain circles, for example, for my summer jams. If you want to entice me to go on a road trip, play Kansas' "Carry on My Wayward Son." Naturally, I sometimes think of songs to match the month's theme. This time, Jonathan Coulton springs to mind:

Hollywood certainly has a diverse offering this week to suit you as follows:

• If you need to see Matt Damon, action, war, politics, Paul Greengrass' trademark shaky-cam, go see Green Zone
• If you need to see Robert Pattinson, brooding, romance, daddy issues, whatever possessed Chris Cooper to act opposite Robert Pattinson, go see Remember Me
• If you need to see Jay Baruchel, a sex farce, maybe romance, definitely a premature ejaculation joke in some sort of bizarre 40 Year-Old Virgin/There's Something About Mary mash-up, go see She's Out of My League.

All three sound hard to watch for wildly different reasons. Ah, well. At least Baruchel has two more movies coming out soon (How to Train Your Dragon and The Sorcerer's Apprentice).

If you're looking for something different, there's Genius Within: The Inner Life Of Glenn Gould, Oscar Nominated Short Films of 2009 (Animated), Oscar Nominated Short Films of 2009 (Live Action), World’s Best Commercials 2009, and Marina Of The Zabbaleen playing at the Bytowne.

I'm a big believer in making your own fun. If the Daily Show has taught me anything (oh, how it has), it's that the news can play a big role in said fun-making. All you need are a few headlines. Such as: 

"Victoria dancers sparkle in the limelight"
Misread that as daylight, and you might think Stephenie Meyer attacked Victoria.

"J'ai tué ma mère fails to win César"
So not only did Xavier Dolan's film lose, it also came home to face a very disappointed parent Montreal Gazette.

Gossip Girl's return is still more than a month away (still March 8), so naturally a certain emptiness and listlessness has started to take over your everyday life (particularly Mondays at 9 p.m.). To that end, I've decided to lift your spirits by reminding you about the Southern Mothers ft. Matt Pearson rap.

Last night's Supernatural, "Swap Meat," was a nice little one up from last week's procedural in terms of fitting into the larger myth arc. Seems that the little nerd from the previews didn't put himself into Sam's meat suit just cause, you know, it looks like Sam (though he does take some time to admire the biceps in the mirror, sensibly and hilariously): Hell's got a bounty out for Dean's head, which our nerd trio discovers during one of their Satanic séances (kids these days!). Actually bright Gary figures the easiest way to get to Dean would be via Sam, so he hops on in there. He also orders a banana daiquiri, picks up a cougar, and backs the Metallicar into dumpster, but that's neither here nor there. In the end, he's not much of a killer and opts for saving Dean from a demon instead of letting him die (and correcting Dean's Latin pronunciation in the process).

As much as I like Sam-centric episodes (it seems like everything's Dean-centric lately) and love opportunities for Padalecki to show off his considerable comedic talent, "Swap Meat" also highlights one of the show's main writing weaknesses: Dean and Sam are exactly as bright or as dim as the plot needs them to be. For the life of me, I could not figure out why Sam even so much as got in the police car when he was walking down the highway back to their motel (we have been told many times over that hunters, not to mention the FBI's most wanted, don't jive with the po-po), nevermind stayed there for the rest of the night and went to school in Gary's stead. Eventually it became clear that he was looking for Gary's grimoire (grimoires should be an app, they're so popular nowadays) or other evidence of how the switch took place,  but 38 messages on Dean's phone? In Sam's voice (nice continuity, show)? No. Sam would have called Bobby or Castiel (who would have known what was up immediately just like he knew Dean was from the past in Zechariah's "future"), and they would have gotten him the hell out of there. But they didn't pay Jim Beaver or Mischa Collins to be in the episode, so Sam just slogs it out on his own. 

This week, much like last week, ending with nothing new: Dean longs to leave hunting behind for a normal life but can't, whereas Sam has given up on ever having anything normal again and settled into hunting as a career choice (we discussed all of this, and better, in last season's "Jump the Shark.") Now, I suppose, the question is whether Sam's situation (had it and lost it, spectacularly) or Dean's situation (never had it) is sadder. Actually, scratch that. Let's just watch this and laugh:

On my way home from work yestereve, a man walking behind me was trying valiantly to do that thing guys do when walking in the city after dark, which is to go out of their way to make it clear that they are not an attacker. Unfortunately, he took it too far and fell victim to inner city pressure.

Last night's fall finale of Glee (our top new comedy pick) was exactly the whirligig of drama, comedy, and singing that we've come to expect. While Glee may pretend that it's a parody of musicals and after-school specials, as Troy would tell you, it's actually a show that uses singing and comedy to disguise exactly how depressing it really is. Of course, music and laughter are necessary components for most humans to make it through their banal-to-soul-crushing days, so who can hold it against the 12 students that make up McKinley High's show choir? It's the best part of Santana's day!

In thinking about how awesome last night's entry was, though (and it was awesome), the very things that made it awesome also got me thinking about some stuff they should really straighten out before the show returns April 13 (yes, April 13. Try to hold it together). Ian Brennan, Brad Falchuk, and Ryan Murphy, could you meet me over at camera three?

Okay, that's better. Three things:

Dear Everyone I know Including the Internet,

What gives? 

How I Met Your Mother is freaking brilliant, and you don't bother telling me about it?  You let the show get like five years into their run before it becomes even a blip on my radar?  You have failed me!

Insensitivity Training gets an Improtéine injection!

Ottawa's English improv juggernaut Insensitivity Training face off with the provincially renowned French improve giant Improtéine during the Team vs Team Challenge at Yuk Yuk's September 27th.

In the basement of the Yuk Yuk's comedy club lies the improv gem of the Ottawa comedy scene. Insensitivity Training has been growing and performing 2 hours of hilarious improv there for the past two and half years, every Sunday night. The most popular of their special events is their "Team vs Team" where they invite another improve troupe for a improvised night of challenge improve to see which one can get the best laughs. The teams go back and forth testing each others wits by imposing ridiculous stipulations on one another while creating scene on the spot using audience suggestions. What issues is pure spontaneous comedy of the highest calibre.

This month, the home team will be facing a formidable opponent; Improtéine, the don of the French Improvisation scene in Ontario. This troupe, that also originated from Ottawa in the French milieus, has 4 years of seniority over Insensitivity Training and an all star cast that include television personalities, Ligue National d'Improvisation players and well establish actors, performers and comedians. They've toured all over Ontario several times and have even been out West to BC and Alberta.

Hollywood industry mag Variety is reporting that all five original cast members of the Canadian comedy super troupe Kids in the Hall are reuniting for a new series called Death Comes to Town. The eight-part series will be a murder mystery set in Ontario. Filming is set to take place in North Bay, so the 'Ontario' setting, is it seems, does not mean Toronto.  Interesting!