Last night’s Gossip Girl, “Rhodes to Perdition,” didn’t follow up on the end of “All the Pretty Sources” even a little bit. You know, when Blair showed up at Empire and asked without really asking if Chuck was good all along, and Ed Westwick’s exquisitely expressive face did something magnificent and heartbreaking, for such is its way, and . . . and . . . Nothing. Who knows? Chuck nodded and Blair left? They had sex on top of Dan, and thus his dreams became reality? They ate bacon scones? WHO KNOWS?!

You might have thought that there was a whole other episode on last night, one about Rhodes Women and Gossip Girl called them “Rhodes Girls” because she is an idiot and doesn’t get that being a woman is kind of the point, but since there is no longer even the remotest hint of character continuity on this show, I’m almost at the point of giving up. I know I won’t, but I just want you to know that I thought about it, show. And you know what else I thought? Dair is a distraction.

I’m not much of a ‘shipper either way, but over the course of this season I’ve been coming around to the “Dan and Blair belong together” side of thinking. It’s not that I spontaneously like Dan (although there was a point when he was sitting on the stoop with Alessandra when I thought he was looking good) but rather that I could see them as a harmonious balance rather than the chaos left in Chair’s wake.

Remember last year when Gossip Girl finally learned how to do a finale right? This year, with Monday night’s “The Wrong Goodbye,” they went us one better: not only was Georgina on the scene to wreak adorably unhinged havoc, she sniffed out a kindred in a matter of minutes. Attagirl. Otherwise, Serena and Dan finally admit the truth, Blair gets her fairytale, and Chuck and his beloved get back together in style. AND my prediction that Ed Westwick would make up for last week’s dearth of exquisitely expressive faces proves so right I may have to get a swooning couch.

Not unless the thing was twisted and nasty, in which case my help could prove invaluable.

Vanessa and Serena have teamed up to find Charlie. Vanessa doesn’t know that Serena’s a certified crime fighter, so she’s boo-hooing all Serena’s ideas and generally being Vanessa up in this cab. Serena finally shuts the bickering down and decides that they should just work together until they know the status of the currently unfolding murder-suicide they’ve imagined. Also, as suspected, Charlie Single White Female-d her roommate in college. That was her bugaboo.

Oh, Gossip Girl, when you deliver an episode like, “Shattered Bass,” I don’t know how to love you more. Everything blows up (but not in the way you’d think), everyone looks amazing, and Blair’s love of the ducks finally pays off. PLUS Jack Bass has never been better. It’s basically a dream.

Single White Serena

So you know how we’ve all been taking bets on what kind of crazy Charlie is? It’s even better than you thought. Charlie goes off her meds by dumping them out in a garbage can in the living room of PRADA MAFIA, like no one will notice that, and decides that she needs to give Dan a little push to get him in the sack. First she strokes his ego by comparing his writing to Fitz-freaking-Gerald (that’s right, that’s how it’s spelled), but, when Serena reminisces about cotillion and Dan in a dreamy way (she even has that picture in her room, which is odd, but I guess it is her old room and not her current quarters), Charlie decides there’s another golden opportunity to play damsel in distress to Dan’s white knight complex. And you know the best place for that? The Party that Everyone Ends Up At. Basically, Serena gives Charlie permission to date Dan and even tries to help her out by hooking her up with her Rhodes trust fund and giving her fashion advice, and Charlie is going to use that against her so hardcore it will blow your mind.

Suze Rotolo passed away last week after a battle with lung cancer.  She was 67.

Rotolo was an activist, artist, writer and teacher. 

She was also, for a time, muse to the 20th century's greatest song writer, Bob Dylan. 

When Blair said that on last Monday’s Gossip Girl, “Panic Roommate,” I may have yelled, “THESIS STATEMENT.” Because, seriously, if Gossip Girl had a central idea, it would be “scheming and burlesque,” right? Also, I hope Jacob took that as a massive shout out. Otherwise, though I haven’t been recapping, I have been watching, and Gossip Girl is still doing everything I love: Serena’s moves on to the next guy as soon as the first gets close, Blair’s up to her eyes in a scheme of her own making, Dan’s hating, Chuck’s making faces, and Nate’s getting pimped. Yay!

Ex-Con Estates

So get this: Goofus (he’s Goofus all episode long, no?) didn’t even ask Dan if it would be okay to move an ex-con into the loft. He brought it up once and just assumed that Dan would be on board because . . . Ben was falsely accused? Making up for Lily’s lies is Goofus’ full time job now? Maybe Dan should show a little gratitude toward his totally rent-free existence? I would argue the last, but Goofus is probably thinking the first. So Dan immediately goes running to Eric with what he perceives as a serious problem.

Given that “By the Light of the Moon” aired in December instead of November, it can be forgiven for not hitting the whiz-bang heights of some of the previous episodes of The Vampire Diaries. Still, plenty to go on: Stefan and Katherine in the tomb; Damon, Bonnie, and Jeremy on Elena watch; Caroline on Tyler watch. Throw in a mysterious newcomer and some further Elijah mystery, and you’ve got yet another solid instalment of this insanely watchable series.

Teen Wolf, Too

Tyler’s watching Mason’s transformation video again, but the way that he’s also running around preparing his gear makes me think it’s not exactly for the second time. More like the hundredth. He’s resorted to leaving messages on Mason’s olde tyme answering machine, which some blonde overhears. Seriously, aren’t we past this kind of “technology” trapping? The only people who still have this kind of machine are my parents, who just discovered email a month ago. Find another way, writers. Tyler’s message, though vague, is just enough to perk up the blonde’s ears. She immediately heads from Florida to Mystic Falls (which, how fast can she drive?) to find Tyler. After talking to Lady Mayor about Mason’s disappearance, Jules (that’s the Blonde) heads to the Grill to find Tyler (for that is where Lady Mayor thinks he is), but not before making a phone call informing someone (pack master?) that Mason lied about there being no more werewolves in Mystic Falls. Hey! He died before Tyler killed that girl, okay? As far as he knew, he was the only one. Aw, I miss Mason.

Thought Blair may have said it in “The Townie,” Gossip Girl most assuredly is an Ouija board. And what Gossip Girl predicts is downfall for Lily, of all people. Find out how.

Nemesis

Blair and Dan are strolling and recapping, but, since I’ve already done the hard work, I’m skipping this. What’s missing is Juliet’s motive, and only Blair can understand: “There is only one motive to fuel a gaslighting as powerful as this: retribution.” She should know, having tried to Ostroff Serena once before. They remember when Serena was briefly allied with the Parisian police, so they decide ask the crime fighter herself for her insight into Juliet’s dark mind.

A few weeks ago on The Vampire Diaries, Damon drew such a poor werewolf that Caroline thought it was a puppy with a tutu. Just for a treat, here's a real puppy in a tutu. It was picked up on Vancouver's Seymour Street as part of a campaign by Ballet BC to be seen as not your grandma's ballet company. Enjoy!

Don't forget to tune in for tonight's ROAD TRIP!

In “Easy J,” Gossip Girl tries to tell us that Jenny Humphrey has been missed. No, she has not. She’s gone just as quickly as she arrived, which is exactly how we like it. This week’s Gossip Girl also featured Nate shaking it for Cellblock 6, Serena successfully attending a class, and a tragic end to Chuck and Blair’s war.

Blair’s Psychic Hotline

Blair has a Wait Until Dark dream that we both see and hear her explain in detail to Serena. Thanks? Anyway, she thought Chuck was the dream attacker until she reached back and grabbed a handful of ratty blonde extensions. Blair also takes this opportunity to call Serena a slut like she does every episode lately, and I’m getting a little tired of it. I wonder why Serena doesn’t just tell her to eff off but remember that it’s probably to avoid getting axe murdered. Blair also inaccurately describes Serena’s hair as being in “missionary disarray.” Serena has sex hair all the time, so it’s kind of a wonder how they cooked up beach hair for her this episode and called it sex hair. Anyway, Serena’s like, “Yes, but we didn’t fuck!” and Blair’s like, “My dream is more important than your real life!”, so Serena tries to use her Serena-magic to amalgamate the two by suggesting that they talk it over while taking a cab to school. Serena plans to get there on time since she knows Cab-Thieving Colin won’t have anyone to pour into a taxi this morning. I’m briefly amazed that she may have concocted this scheme just to neutralize Colin but no such luck. Also, no takers. Blair has somewhere else to be.

PROMdemonium 2010 is the radical, community-oriented, gender-bending, bike-loving, enviro-humping, queer-diggin, slow dancing, big dress wearing prom that you never had.

This year's PROM is on Saturday, May 1, from 8:30pm to 1:30am at St. Brigid's Centre for the Arts and Humanities.

***WE ARE LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS NOW. We need people to: poster, decorate, assist with tasks the night of Prom, and do other various other tasks as they arise. Volunteers get into Prom for FREE!

Last night's episode of Gossip Girl, "The Unblairable Lightness of Being," called an official end to Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck, as we know them, but plenty of other relationships were also pushed to the breaking point. For an episode that featured Cyrus Rose and centred on Dorota and Vanya's wedding, it wasn't the happiest day of anyone's life.

Nate and Chuck

Nate and Serena start out the episode encouraging Chuck and Blair to kiss and make up (Nate suggests buying Blair something, while Serena recommends an overture of love), but Nate flips the switch when Blair tells him that Chuck used her to get Empire back. Nate and Chuck have, quite honestly, one of the nastiest fights I've seen on the show in a long while that didn't involve getting punched in the face. Nate tells Chuck that he doesn't deserve to be with anyone (!); Chuck tells Nate that a) he doesn't have the full story, and b) Nate couldn't comprehend the complex issues that plague people like Chuck and Blair because all Nate and Serena have to worry about is who has the shiniest hair. Chuck is too down/drunk to notice that Nate wore his hair slicked back all episode, and Serena looked like she hadn't showered in a few days. No shiny hair there. After the break up is made permanent (more on that in a moment), Nate tries to pull Chuck away from some random Brighton Beach giantess, but Chuck hisses that he's single now and will do what he pleases. Angry faces all around.

On Monday night, I finally gave up the ghost and started watching the third season of Mad Men online. I caught the first two seasons on CTV, which mysteriously hasn't scheduled an airing of the third season. Sister network Bravo seems to have the show on a continuous loop, interrupted only by Dexter (another show I started watching on CTV only to have it cruelly taken away), but I haven't figured out exactly when to break in or if the third season is even part of that loop. Bell, my satellite provider, decided to pick up AMC after the season had finished airing. Thanks, Bell. Hence: the internet.

I've watched the first two episodes, and so far it's on course for another season of quiet devastation: equal part laughs, "holy shit," and "Oh, Don." He's everyone's favourite handsome retro sociopath! What shocked me, though, was the realization that Don has green eyes.

I noticed it during the first episode, "Out of Town," and then remembered that he had green eyes even in the season two previouslies. Didn't he have brown eyes in season one? When and for what reason did Jon Hamm stop wearing contacts for the role? I got all excited to dig into this mystery and share the results with you, but you know what? Never happened. 

Despite the fact that I am somehow ignored December while it was going on, I am fully aware that it is January. As such, I thought it appropriate to fully winterize myself this year, by which I mean try to correct past winter mistakes.

Two years ago, I slipped on some ice and fractured my leg. I don't want a repeat performance and mincing around everywhere trying to avoid ice is no way to live. I picked up a pair of Winter Trax* for $20 and wore them for the first time this morning. There were two moments when my right foot sort of slipped out from under me, but I think that has more to do with the fact that I was deliberately not watching where I was stepping to give the Trax a real test. It's a little weird at first to walk on springy metal coils, but it's definitely a better grip. 

After several hours out in the snow the first weekend of the year (not my usual), I realized Sunday afternoon that I had a (very mild) case of frostbite on my right ear. My hat covers my ears, but it's flopsy and loose. Wind still managed to get in there. I decided I should get a hat that clamped down tight over my ears, and my friend offered hers up as she is abroad for the rest of the season. The day before I started wearing it, however, I spotted a sweet mohawk hat like the one pictured, and now I want one. How cool is that hat? Except the one I saw was more like this one, in that it had ear flaps. It was nice of my friend to lend me her hat, but a pom is no mohawk, I think you'll agree. 

Obviously, no one in their right mind. But dear Serena never had a right mind to begin with, so naturally she told Trip they needed to stay away from each other, made out with him in a elevator, apologized to his wife for causing trouble, managed to get the upper hand on her mom, and eventually ran off with Trip in a limo while wearing a cat suit with black lace down the middle so that her ample cleavage got enough air. Because if there's one thing Serena does at Thanksgiving, it's fuck everything up.

All of this, plus the following:

• Dan confirms that CeCe's heart runs on "secrets and gin," giving viewers new life goals.
• Dan realizes that he does indeed love Vanessa, so Gabriella (the formidable Gina Torres) decides to try her hand at parenting for the first time and tells him to stay way if he's unwilling to commit to something serious. Hilariously, how her daughter might feel about Dan is never a consideration for either of them.
• Eric's full out evil involves texts like, "We have to strike now" and eating a big bite of pie. Enjoying desserts on holidays is like enjoying the fruits of the Devil every other night of the year.
• Chuck tries to mend the current Waldorf rift by selling Blair out to Eleanor, explaining that he bought that particular champagne because Blair told him to. Both ladies studiously ignore him. 
• Chuck also advises Nate to tell Serena how he feels, threatens Serena and Trip, calls Nate out on stealing from him, and eventually ditches Blair (and sweater shopping with Harold and Roman!) for a heartbroken Nate. Aw, Nathaniel is his true love.
• The new Empire-based Bass Cave has a motorcycle is decoration. That's even better than Logan's suit of armour.

For yes, indeed, yet another episode ends with a heartbroken Nate. Poor guy confessed his feelings to Serena and begged her to stay, but, as mention, she drove off with Trip instead. While it will doubtless turn out next week that Trip is crazy and Nate will be entirely justified in once again punching a family member in the face,* it would be hard to make the right choice with two Vanderbilts giving you the glad eye.
*I just wondered when he would finally punch Grandfather in the face, but I realized that Grandfather is probably a boxing champ who would wipe the floor with Nathaniel.

Fashionistas come prepared, this year's Clothing Vintage Sale is happening this weekend, Sunday, November 15, 2009 at the Chateau Laurier (1 Rideau Street, Ottawa). 

The event takes place from 10:00am to 5pm, with over 45 exhibitors from across Canada  selling their selection of men and women's clothing from 1900s to 1970s. This includes accessories, antique jewellery, linens, lace and collectibles.
Admission is $8. Also if you wish to  support the Ottawa Food Bank. Bring along a non-perishable food item or make a cash donation at the Sale.

On Monday night's Gossip Girl, Olivia (Hilary Duff) decided to show Dan's parents that she really is the shallow Hollywood starlet she believes they think her to be (yeah, lots of lies this ep), so she rolls up to the Freshmen Parents Dinner/Toast/Impossible Social Situation in a skin tight, peach Hervé Léger.

Over on Monday night's Castle, Beckett (Stana Katic) needs to remind everyone that she is a hottie in addition to a bitchin' detective, so she rolls up to Castle's book launch party in a skin tight, blue Hervé Léger.

On Gossip Girl, this sort of thing is expected. Also, TV has long conditioned me to accept that people on inside the tube wear clothes, live in houses, and drive cars far beyond their salary range, so I'm okay with Beckett's choice. But twice in one night on two different networks? What's next? Will Quinn be in tears on Glee tonight when her Herve Leger no longer fits? Will Jonathan have to solve the case of the stolen Herve Leger on Sunday's Bored to Death? Remember: twice is a coincidence; three makes a rule.