The finals are here! It seems like we have been at this for a very long time. And by we, I mean me. Hope Solo was thankfully sent home last week, leaving us with three deserving finalists. We have the inspiring J.R. Martinez (a veteran who was badly injured while serving the U.S. military), former talk show host Ricki Lake, and relative of "famous" people, Rob Kardashian. If you had told me when we started this season that I wouldn't be actively rooting against Rob this week, I would not have believed you. He still isn't my favourite, but he has worked hard and earned his spot in the finals. Also, I love his partner, Cheryl. For the finale show (which is thankfully just one hour), each of the couples have just two dances including a fun freestyle round, and they get to have a teaching session with one of our esteemed judges as well.  

Ricki Lake and Derek (Cha Cha Cha):

Last week, David Arquette was sent home, before both Nancy Grace and Hope Solo. Lamesauce! He was by no means the strongest dancer, but he had the personality and effort sorely lacking in the two women I just mentioned. The group dance was probably a big part of his undoing, which is a shame. I will miss seeing Courtney Cox in the audience. This week we have the old "instant dance", which is where the couple don't receive the music to one of their dances until 20 minutes before they perform. In the past, this has led to some mixed results, with some thriving under the pressure, and others visibly cracking. I assume tonight will be no different. 

Rob Kardashian and Cheryl (Quickstep): Cheryl is cracking the whip this week, with the goal of making sure Rob gets into the semis. I assume all of the pros will be taking this approach. Their quickstep is to a slightly odd song, which is "Take on Me" by A-ha. The song just sort of isn't fast enough for the dance or something. Their fast footwork parts are to the chorus, which is the slow, drawn out "taaaaaaaaaake on meeeeeee". It just doesn't match up somehow. That being said, I think the dance was strong and it seemed like Rob was on top of it. Len really liked it, once they got into hold. Bruno says something incoherent. He is happy with Rob's ass this week. Carrie Ann has some ridiculous bangs going on this week, and they are like all up in her eyes. Like that muppet. She thinks he has improved tremendously. Scores: 9,9,9.

My apologies for the lack of recap last week; I got caught up in the Canadian Election results. Apparently last week, Kendra was sent packing. Thank goodness. The gimmick this week is the “instant dance”, where the couples learn what music they will get for one dance as the show is airing….Liiiiive! I saw this episode last season, and all of the couples turned in really good dances. Let’s hope this year’s group doesn’t disappoint.

Chelsea and Mark:  Apparently Mark was a power tool to Len and the judges last week and he threw some sort of fit about their mediocre scores. So sorry to have missed that. Chelsea earns even more of my respect by telling Mark that it isn’t cool for him to be a little bitch (I’m paraphrasing) to the judges because it makes her look bad. They are doing an emotionally-charged waltz and Chelsea has something to prove. The dance is smooth, graceful and classic. The judges should like this one. Len does like it, though he finds something to complain about (too much story that distracted from the dance). Scores are two 10s from Carrie Ann and Bruno and a 9 from Len.

Instant Dance: Chelsea is instant dancing a salsa. There is a miscue between the announcers and whoever started this music, so the dance is off to a weird start (not their fault, though). Mark is back to out-dancing Chelsea, but the dance is fun and high-energy. The male judges loved it, but Carrie Ann thought they weren’t connected to the music. I really couldn’t tell. They receive two 9s and an 8 for the dance.