Lauren's already kicked it off in the comments on the latest Mayfair chat, but, since it's December 1st and therefore the day I officially start listening to Christmas music of my own accord,* let's take a minute to share a couple of faves, shall we?

There aren't many new movies at the multiplex this weekend, which is just as well as I can't imagine exactly what could slow Inception down. Consensus seems to be that it's a stunning visual masterwork possibly lacking in the corresponding emotional majesty. If you can't get a ticket to whatever showing you attempt, you could do worse than The Sorcerer's Apprentice, which is frothy summer fun at its best and merely shallow at its worst.

Cyrus, a comedy about a recently divorced man (John C. Reilly) who is stymied in his relationship with a new woman (Marisa Tomei) by her creepy relationship with her adult son (Jonah Hill), has also made it to Ottawa, specifically at the World Exchange Centre.

Over at the Bytowne, it's another Stieg Larsson ruled weekend, with The Girl Who Played with Fire sharing billing with Exit Through the Gift Shop, a documentary about a man who tried to make a documentary about Banksy only to end to with the camera turned on him when he decided to try his hand at graffiti art himself. 

Predators is coming out! Predators is coming out! Wait, you're not as excited about that as I am, are you? Okay, go read this interview and then dare tell me that you are not excited to see Predators. Adrien Brody is Danny Trejo's hog, man. Also, Topher Grace is still making movies (yay!).

If you don't want to see aliens kill a bunch of apparently dangerous humans (plus Topher Grace), I'm sure you could do worse than Despicable Me, a cartoon about a villain (v. Steve Carrell) who plans to steal the moon until three little orphan girls decide to adopt him as their dad instead.

At Coliseum Ottawa, which apparently is where all the Bollywood movies go, you can check out I Hate Luv Storys, starring Sonam Kapoor and Imran Khan.

Are you a fan of Jackson Rathbone?

Who?

Okay, are you ready for it? Pixar's big movie of the summer is here, so you can assume that it's pretty much the only game in town. Toy Story 3 is no doubt as charming, funny, and moving as every Pixar movie in creation, so the fact that you are sitting here reading this suggests some deficiency on your part.

Alternatively we have Jonah Hex, yet another in a long line of less-than-known comic book adaptations that are really starting to confuse viewers with their very existence, and . . .  that's pretty much it for wide releases. 

Hey, have you been decrying the lack of 80s nostalgia at the movie theatre lately? Hollywood is bound and determined to put an end to that by releasing both The Karate Kid and The A-Team this weekend. You may wonder which to choose, so let me break it down.

Choose The Karate Kid if you think 1) all martial arts are the same (as they are surely and explicitly practicing kung fu in this remake, and karate practitioners are likely to be appalled) and 2) it's great when kids beat the snot out of each other. Do yourself a favour and rent the original The Karate Kid where actual karate is practiced, the kid in question is 15, and Pat Morita is rad from start to finish.

Choose The A-Team if you think adding explosions to a mediocre '80s show will make it better. Actually, if you ask me, a bunch of explosions plus Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, and Sharlto Copley does make things better. Sorry, Rampage: you're only excluded because I don't follow UFC.

Hollywood certainly has a diverse offering this week to suit you as follows:

• If you need to see Matt Damon, action, war, politics, Paul Greengrass' trademark shaky-cam, go see Green Zone
• If you need to see Robert Pattinson, brooding, romance, daddy issues, whatever possessed Chris Cooper to act opposite Robert Pattinson, go see Remember Me
• If you need to see Jay Baruchel, a sex farce, maybe romance, definitely a premature ejaculation joke in some sort of bizarre 40 Year-Old Virgin/There's Something About Mary mash-up, go see She's Out of My League.

All three sound hard to watch for wildly different reasons. Ah, well. At least Baruchel has two more movies coming out soon (How to Train Your Dragon and The Sorcerer's Apprentice).

If you're looking for something different, there's Genius Within: The Inner Life Of Glenn Gould, Oscar Nominated Short Films of 2009 (Animated), Oscar Nominated Short Films of 2009 (Live Action), World’s Best Commercials 2009, and Marina Of The Zabbaleen playing at the Bytowne.

Not a lot to choose from from Hollywood this week. If you're a die hard* Kevin Smith fan, you may want to check out the heinous looking Cop Out, which would have you believe that road hauling should be played for laughs. Are funny lynch mobs next? You also have the remake of The Crazies, starring Timothy Olyphant. Anything featuring the triumphant return of Olyphant in law & order mode or with a moustache gets a pass in my book. Theatres in town are being a bit daring with World Exchange Centre picking up Helen, in which Ashley Judd stars as a professor coming to terms with her depression, and To Save a Life, in which a former friend's suicide rocks to boy who seemingly has it all, premiering at South Keys. 

Over at the Bytowne, you must check out The Young Victoria, one of the 10 best movies of 2009. You can also see The White Ribbon, if you're into Michael Haneke, or La Donation, un film québécois about a dying doctor searching for someone to take over his small regional practice.

At the Mayfair, you must check out Red Cliff, which plays at times like a John Wood parody, but he still rocks action sequences harder than most. You haven't live until you've seen what Tony Leung will do after you shoot him with an arrow. There's also original The Crazies, classic Some Like it Hot (possibly the best last line in a movie ever), The Horse Boy, Thundercast are Go!, Black, and new midnight movie The Room on Saturday night. 

Slim pickings for standard Hollywood fare this weekend. You've got Valentine's Day, which looks like someone plucked three scenes each from a pile of rom-coms and stuck them together rather than figuring an entire movie out; Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief, which gets no points for incredibly long title and also revolves around three teens who find out they're demi-gods who need to retrieve the bolt from the lightening thief; and The Wolfman, because werewolves are hot right now, and no one noticed that Benicio Del Toro isn't aging well.

Over at the Bytowne, you can check out The Last Station, for which Helen Mirren received an Oscar nod,  and New York, I Love You, because even the Bytowne's not resistant to splashing something with a big heart over St. Valentine's Day.

Finally, the Mayfair has prepared a smorgasbord of love and love-hate movies (notably Audition in the latter category), though you'd do well to start with tonight's Painted Lips and Lolly Licks: Sexy Film Festival. 

There are so many arts things happening in town tonight that it just seems like a better idea to combine them in one post than to keep posting them separately. Duplicate info will be deleted shortly.

ABSTrACTS/RéSuMÉS: An Exercise in Poetry
Thursday January 28, 7 pm
Performances at 7:30 pm
Club SAW, 67 Nicholas Street, Ottawa
Free admission (donations are welcome)
In the context of the exhibition Fibred Optics, the Ottawa Art Gallery and The A B Series present a reading by six poets who transform Michele Provost's installation into an evening of performance poetry. Provost's visual art installation references text from contemporary art criticism and forms the raw material for the commissioned poets' projects.
The A B Series specializes in presenting readings of performance, sound and experimental poetry by professional local, national and international artists. For more on The A B Series, please visit www.abseries.org.

THE CFI IS PROUD TO PRESENT:
ATOM EGOYAN IN PERSON with THE ADJUSTER (1991)
Screening and Book Launch
Thursday, January 28
7:00pm
Library and Archives Canada (395 Wellington)
$10 Students, Seniors, CFI Members
$15 General Public
No Passes
Atom Egoyan in person! Restored 35mm scope print!
Throughout 2010, the CFI will be celebrating its 75th year with special cinematic events.
The first of these will take place on January 28, when Atom Egoyan – who showed his first feature film, NEXT OF KIN, at the CFI way back in 1984 – will come to Ottawa to introduce the CFI's screening of a restored print of his 1991 film, THE ADJUSTER.  This screening will also feature the official Ottawa launch of  the book, ATOM EGOYAN’S THE ADJUSTER, written by CFI Executive Director, Tom McSorley, and published by University of Toronto Press.

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS
SEX! Now that we’ve got your attention, Painted Lips and Lolly Licks: The Sexy Film Festival returns to the Mayfair Feb 13, and we want to show your movie! Any film that explores themes of sex, romance or the erotic is eligible, provided it’s 10 minutes or shorter, and submitted by Feb 5. Entries will be judged by adult film star (and friend of the Mayfair) Sasha Grey! For more information, contact festival director Lee Demarbre (lee@mayfairtheatre.ca).

Paul Bettany weekend! Fans, I know you're out there, so it's time to get excited that Bettany has two (2) movies opening this weekend: Creation, about Darwin's (Bettany) theory of evolution and its effect on his family, and Legion, in which Bettany plays an angel so enamoured of humanity that he throws in with us against the angelic host. Castiel? No, apparently it's Michael this time around. I'd like to tell you that he's also in Tooth Fairy for the hat trick but no dice. Still, you've got Dwayne Johnson and Julie Andrews. You know, if that's your thing.

At ye olde Bytowne, Mary & Max is still playing along with Richard Linklater's Me & Orson Welles (don't let the Zac Efron throw you: Christian McKay's performance is one of the best of the year) and The Yes Men Fix The World.

Over at the Mayfair, in addition to punk islam, there's the so-so The Men Who Stare at Goats, Bond movies The Living Daylights and GoldenEye, and new midnight movie in the making The Room.

Friday

Experience the birth of punk Islam in the critically acclaimed film -
“THE TAQWACORES”
And watch the Spiritual Journey of Michael Muhammed Knight
Playing at the Mayfair Theatre 1074 Bank Street, Ottawa
Friday, January 22, 2010 at 9:00 pm
Saturday, January 23, 2010 at 9:00 pm
Sunday, January 24, 2010 at 9:00 pm
Monday, January 25, 2010 at 9:10 pm
Meet film firector Omar Majeed for a Q and A following the film on Friday, January 22, 2010
“Freedom of Expression for the Muslim Artist”
A Panel Discussion with film director Omar Majeed, Art History PhD. Candidate Nadia Kurd, and McGill U. Photographer Asif Rehman following the film on Saturday, January 23, 2010
 RSVP for the panel discussion and/or for more information:  Shahla Khan Salter, tel. 613 260 8798, email: khansalter@rogers.com , Chair, Muslims for Progressive Values (Ottawa Chapter)

La Petite Mort Gallery presents SARAH SCHORLEMER & DRASKO BOGDANOVIC
ONE NIGHT ONLY Photo Exhibit [Editor's Note: Are "one night stands" a thing of the past?]
Friday Jan 22, 2010 / 7 - 10pm, 306 Cumberland
Tunes by Big Mac Daddy
Proudly sponsored by CKCU 93.1 FM

For half a second there, I wasn't sure that anything was opening this weekend. Fortunately for you, I am wrong.

The Lovely Bones, Peter Jackson's much anticipated adaptation of Alice Sebold's novel, finally makes it to wide release this weekend. Expect my Book vs. Film next Tuesday. The Book of Eli, about . . . something, opens this weekend as well. Sorry, it's about Denzel Washington kicking people's asses after the apocalypse because they want to get his hands on his (last remaining?) copy of the Bible, which may or may not contain the Book of Eli (apocrypha). At least, that's as much as I can tell from the trailer and any of the ads. There's also The Spy Next Door, which stars Jackie Chan who is, no doubt, a spy living next door to some people. I had never heard of it until yesterday when a man asked the young lady at the ticket counter when it comes out, and she replied that he could "check on the internet." V. helpful!

At ye olde Bytowne, A Single Man is still playing along with depressing apocalypse movie The Road and Mary and Max, delightful animation about long distance penpals voiced by Toni Collette and Philip Seymour Hoffman.

If you live somewhere other than New York, L.A., or Toronto, January is a great time to go to the cinema. All the buzz movies you've heard about for the last few months are finally playing at a theatre near you. You can make time this weekend for Avatar, Brothers, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Precious, The Road, Sherlock Holmes, and The Young Victoria. I highly recommend the joyous Fantastic Mr. Fox and the beautifully romantic The Young Victoria.

If you're looking for something new to see, your options dwindle. Hollywood fare opening this weekend includes Daybreakers, about a vampire (Ethan Hawke) who searches to perfect a blood substitute or cure vampirism before the last humans die out, to feed your vampire addiction; Leap Year, where Amy Adams travels to Ireland to force her boyfriend into accepting her proposal, in case you kind of hate yourself; and Youth in Revolt, in which Michael Cera seeks to transform himself from adorable geek to rebellious sex god and which tried to use Old 97s in its trailer and on its website to manipulate me into taking an interest. 

Over at the Bytowne, you've got the goofy but middling The Men Who Stare at Goats, Colin Firth's guaranteed best actor nod A Single Man,  and Pedro Almodóvar latest Penélope Cruz venture, Broken Embraces.

After you've gone and OME!ed all over a theatre near you, what should you do with the rest of your weekend? Engage in a Team Edward vs. Team Jacob fight to the death? No, sillies. You should go see another movie. Without further ado, New Moon counter programming.

The Blind Side, in which Sandra Bullock's rich Southern housewife takes in a poor black teenager, opens this weekend. I'd try to snark, but the trailer gets me every damn time. For the kids, you've got Planet 51, in which an American astronaut touches down on what's thought to be an uninhabited planet to find it very inhabited indeed.

Over at the Bytowne, Bright Star is still playing to further sate your doomed romance jones, as well as The Damned United to further sate your Michael Sheen jones. If you've got a clothing jones, you can check out Coco avant Chanel.

Mysteriously, it seems that there is very little premiering this weekend, although there is still lots to see if you haven't been keeping up with your cinema going of late (as I have not, due to travel). Perhaps nothing wants to compete with This Is It?

If you haven't already seen Where the Wild Things Are, you could start there; skip the dull Amelia; and catch Zombieland while you still can ((Cult)ure recommended!). Aside from that it seems to be a craps shoot.

The Bytowne is trying to tease you into seeing Twilight on the big screen again, but they've also got Cairo Time and An Education, which has both great buzz and the very sexy Peter Sarsgaard in a tale about young girl's affair with an older man in 1960s London. 

It's October, you guys! We made it. Time to get out your Scene cards and Bytowne memberships because it's gonna get good. 

Hollywood Fare

If you are in need of sup-bar agitainment, Michael Moore's latest, Capitalism: A Love Story should fit the bill. If you prefer the latest addition in the hor-com genre, go with Zombieland.  While "be your own hero" seems to be the only message of Drew Barrymore's directorial debut Whip It, it's pretty good as far as messages go (with the added benefit of not looking like a message movie). If comedy's more your thing, go with Ricky Gervais' latest, The Invention of Lying. Is there a reason Mr. Gervais hasn't really broken out here yet?

I'm delighted to tell you that after a brief "Weekend Viewing" hiatus, there are tonnes (yes, metric tonnes) of movies to go see this weekend. Yippee!

On the Hollywood side of things there's the Fame remake, which sounds like it might not be too bad as it hews closely to the original's formula (no protagonist, just moments from four years of hard work), Pandorum, staring (Cult)ure fav Ben Foster, and Surrogates, where people have surrogates and Bruce Willis solves crimes and it's all fairly boring-looking. 

Much like our dear Mr. Foster, in the Canada column we've got the second TBP movie, Trailer Park Boys: Countdown to Liquor Day, which promises to be funny and inventively profane. 

Sweet, sweet movies, what have you on offer this weekend?

A few releases that have been kicking around elsewhere have landed here this weekend, like Adam, in which darling Hugh Dancy plays a young man with Asperger's negotiating a romantic relationship with Rose Byrne. Two horror movies, both of which were not screened for critics, are also opening this weekend: The Final Destination and Halloween II. I saw the first FD movie and none of the sequels, and, well, I don't always have the stomach for horror. I watch a lot of stuff and almost never look away, but I just don't do Rob Zombie. 

Ang Lee's Taking Woodstock is also out. As if the August release weren't a bad enough sign, the reviews have been poor as well. David Edelstein took issue with the adaptation and the casting.  Oh, well. I can accept that Lee's not suited to every genre, and Demetri Martin can remain on my TV and lap top screen.