There aren't many new movies at the multiplex this weekend, which is just as well as I can't imagine exactly what could slow Inception down. Consensus seems to be that it's a stunning visual masterwork possibly lacking in the corresponding emotional majesty. If you can't get a ticket to whatever showing you attempt, you could do worse than The Sorcerer's Apprentice, which is frothy summer fun at its best and merely shallow at its worst.

Cyrus, a comedy about a recently divorced man (John C. Reilly) who is stymied in his relationship with a new woman (Marisa Tomei) by her creepy relationship with her adult son (Jonah Hill), has also made it to Ottawa, specifically at the World Exchange Centre.

Over at the Bytowne, it's another Stieg Larsson ruled weekend, with The Girl Who Played with Fire sharing billing with Exit Through the Gift Shop, a documentary about a man who tried to make a documentary about Banksy only to end to with the camera turned on him when he decided to try his hand at graffiti art himself. 

Predators is coming out! Predators is coming out! Wait, you're not as excited about that as I am, are you? Okay, go read this interview and then dare tell me that you are not excited to see Predators. Adrien Brody is Danny Trejo's hog, man. Also, Topher Grace is still making movies (yay!).

If you don't want to see aliens kill a bunch of apparently dangerous humans (plus Topher Grace), I'm sure you could do worse than Despicable Me, a cartoon about a villain (v. Steve Carrell) who plans to steal the moon until three little orphan girls decide to adopt him as their dad instead.

At Coliseum Ottawa, which apparently is where all the Bollywood movies go, you can check out I Hate Luv Storys, starring Sonam Kapoor and Imran Khan.

Are you a fan of Jackson Rathbone?

Who?

Okay, are you ready for it? Pixar's big movie of the summer is here, so you can assume that it's pretty much the only game in town. Toy Story 3 is no doubt as charming, funny, and moving as every Pixar movie in creation, so the fact that you are sitting here reading this suggests some deficiency on your part.

Alternatively we have Jonah Hex, yet another in a long line of less-than-known comic book adaptations that are really starting to confuse viewers with their very existence, and . . .  that's pretty much it for wide releases. 

Hey, have you been decrying the lack of 80s nostalgia at the movie theatre lately? Hollywood is bound and determined to put an end to that by releasing both The Karate Kid and The A-Team this weekend. You may wonder which to choose, so let me break it down.

Choose The Karate Kid if you think 1) all martial arts are the same (as they are surely and explicitly practicing kung fu in this remake, and karate practitioners are likely to be appalled) and 2) it's great when kids beat the snot out of each other. Do yourself a favour and rent the original The Karate Kid where actual karate is practiced, the kid in question is 15, and Pat Morita is rad from start to finish.

Choose The A-Team if you think adding explosions to a mediocre '80s show will make it better. Actually, if you ask me, a bunch of explosions plus Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, and Sharlto Copley does make things better. Sorry, Rampage: you're only excluded because I don't follow UFC.

Friends, there are movies (movies! plural!) to be seen this weekend. Let's get to it.

New on the Hollywood front, you've got The Ghost Writer, starring Pierce Brosnan as a Blair-esque former British PM who led the country into an undesirable war and noted feminist Ewan McGregor as the ghost writer tasked with completing the PM's memoirs. You've got Repo Men, in which Jude Law and Forest Whitakre reposse people's purchased organs for Liev Schrieber. You've got Diary of a Wimpy Kid, about, um, a wimpy kid in middle school and his over-sized delusions  of grandeur. Finally, if you've got any desire to go see The Bounty Hunter, let Tony Scott cure you.

Over at the Bytowne, you've got Colin Firth's heartbreaking performance in A Single Man, Xavier Dolan's heartbreaking debut J'ai tué ma mère, Darwin biopic Creation, and Fellini-inspired fiasco Nine.

Hollywood certainly has a diverse offering this week to suit you as follows:

• If you need to see Matt Damon, action, war, politics, Paul Greengrass' trademark shaky-cam, go see Green Zone
• If you need to see Robert Pattinson, brooding, romance, daddy issues, whatever possessed Chris Cooper to act opposite Robert Pattinson, go see Remember Me
• If you need to see Jay Baruchel, a sex farce, maybe romance, definitely a premature ejaculation joke in some sort of bizarre 40 Year-Old Virgin/There's Something About Mary mash-up, go see She's Out of My League.

All three sound hard to watch for wildly different reasons. Ah, well. At least Baruchel has two more movies coming out soon (How to Train Your Dragon and The Sorcerer's Apprentice).

If you're looking for something different, there's Genius Within: The Inner Life Of Glenn Gould, Oscar Nominated Short Films of 2009 (Animated), Oscar Nominated Short Films of 2009 (Live Action), World’s Best Commercials 2009, and Marina Of The Zabbaleen playing at the Bytowne.

Not a lot to choose from from Hollywood this week. If you're a die hard* Kevin Smith fan, you may want to check out the heinous looking Cop Out, which would have you believe that road hauling should be played for laughs. Are funny lynch mobs next? You also have the remake of The Crazies, starring Timothy Olyphant. Anything featuring the triumphant return of Olyphant in law & order mode or with a moustache gets a pass in my book. Theatres in town are being a bit daring with World Exchange Centre picking up Helen, in which Ashley Judd stars as a professor coming to terms with her depression, and To Save a Life, in which a former friend's suicide rocks to boy who seemingly has it all, premiering at South Keys. 

Over at the Bytowne, you must check out The Young Victoria, one of the 10 best movies of 2009. You can also see The White Ribbon, if you're into Michael Haneke, or La Donation, un film québécois about a dying doctor searching for someone to take over his small regional practice.

At the Mayfair, you must check out Red Cliff, which plays at times like a John Wood parody, but he still rocks action sequences harder than most. You haven't live until you've seen what Tony Leung will do after you shoot him with an arrow. There's also original The Crazies, classic Some Like it Hot (possibly the best last line in a movie ever), The Horse Boy, Thundercast are Go!, Black, and new midnight movie The Room on Saturday night. 

Slim pickings for standard Hollywood fare this weekend. You've got Valentine's Day, which looks like someone plucked three scenes each from a pile of rom-coms and stuck them together rather than figuring an entire movie out; Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief, which gets no points for incredibly long title and also revolves around three teens who find out they're demi-gods who need to retrieve the bolt from the lightening thief; and The Wolfman, because werewolves are hot right now, and no one noticed that Benicio Del Toro isn't aging well.

Over at the Bytowne, you can check out The Last Station, for which Helen Mirren received an Oscar nod,  and New York, I Love You, because even the Bytowne's not resistant to splashing something with a big heart over St. Valentine's Day.

Finally, the Mayfair has prepared a smorgasbord of love and love-hate movies (notably Audition in the latter category), though you'd do well to start with tonight's Painted Lips and Lolly Licks: Sexy Film Festival. 

Paul Bettany weekend! Fans, I know you're out there, so it's time to get excited that Bettany has two (2) movies opening this weekend: Creation, about Darwin's (Bettany) theory of evolution and its effect on his family, and Legion, in which Bettany plays an angel so enamoured of humanity that he throws in with us against the angelic host. Castiel? No, apparently it's Michael this time around. I'd like to tell you that he's also in Tooth Fairy for the hat trick but no dice. Still, you've got Dwayne Johnson and Julie Andrews. You know, if that's your thing.

At ye olde Bytowne, Mary & Max is still playing along with Richard Linklater's Me & Orson Welles (don't let the Zac Efron throw you: Christian McKay's performance is one of the best of the year) and The Yes Men Fix The World.

Over at the Mayfair, in addition to punk islam, there's the so-so The Men Who Stare at Goats, Bond movies The Living Daylights and GoldenEye, and new midnight movie in the making The Room.

For half a second there, I wasn't sure that anything was opening this weekend. Fortunately for you, I am wrong.

The Lovely Bones, Peter Jackson's much anticipated adaptation of Alice Sebold's novel, finally makes it to wide release this weekend. Expect my Book vs. Film next Tuesday. The Book of Eli, about . . . something, opens this weekend as well. Sorry, it's about Denzel Washington kicking people's asses after the apocalypse because they want to get his hands on his (last remaining?) copy of the Bible, which may or may not contain the Book of Eli (apocrypha). At least, that's as much as I can tell from the trailer and any of the ads. There's also The Spy Next Door, which stars Jackie Chan who is, no doubt, a spy living next door to some people. I had never heard of it until yesterday when a man asked the young lady at the ticket counter when it comes out, and she replied that he could "check on the internet." V. helpful!

At ye olde Bytowne, A Single Man is still playing along with depressing apocalypse movie The Road and Mary and Max, delightful animation about long distance penpals voiced by Toni Collette and Philip Seymour Hoffman.

After you've gone and OME!ed all over a theatre near you, what should you do with the rest of your weekend? Engage in a Team Edward vs. Team Jacob fight to the death? No, sillies. You should go see another movie. Without further ado, New Moon counter programming.

The Blind Side, in which Sandra Bullock's rich Southern housewife takes in a poor black teenager, opens this weekend. I'd try to snark, but the trailer gets me every damn time. For the kids, you've got Planet 51, in which an American astronaut touches down on what's thought to be an uninhabited planet to find it very inhabited indeed.

Over at the Bytowne, Bright Star is still playing to further sate your doomed romance jones, as well as The Damned United to further sate your Michael Sheen jones. If you've got a clothing jones, you can check out Coco avant Chanel.

It's October, you guys! We made it. Time to get out your Scene cards and Bytowne memberships because it's gonna get good. 

Hollywood Fare

If you are in need of sup-bar agitainment, Michael Moore's latest, Capitalism: A Love Story should fit the bill. If you prefer the latest addition in the hor-com genre, go with Zombieland.  While "be your own hero" seems to be the only message of Drew Barrymore's directorial debut Whip It, it's pretty good as far as messages go (with the added benefit of not looking like a message movie). If comedy's more your thing, go with Ricky Gervais' latest, The Invention of Lying. Is there a reason Mr. Gervais hasn't really broken out here yet?

I'm delighted to tell you that after a brief "Weekend Viewing" hiatus, there are tonnes (yes, metric tonnes) of movies to go see this weekend. Yippee!

On the Hollywood side of things there's the Fame remake, which sounds like it might not be too bad as it hews closely to the original's formula (no protagonist, just moments from four years of hard work), Pandorum, staring (Cult)ure fav Ben Foster, and Surrogates, where people have surrogates and Bruce Willis solves crimes and it's all fairly boring-looking. 

Much like our dear Mr. Foster, in the Canada column we've got the second TBP movie, Trailer Park Boys: Countdown to Liquor Day, which promises to be funny and inventively profane. 

Sweet, sweet movies, what have you on offer this weekend?

A few releases that have been kicking around elsewhere have landed here this weekend, like Adam, in which darling Hugh Dancy plays a young man with Asperger's negotiating a romantic relationship with Rose Byrne. Two horror movies, both of which were not screened for critics, are also opening this weekend: The Final Destination and Halloween II. I saw the first FD movie and none of the sequels, and, well, I don't always have the stomach for horror. I watch a lot of stuff and almost never look away, but I just don't do Rob Zombie. 

Ang Lee's Taking Woodstock is also out. As if the August release weren't a bad enough sign, the reviews have been poor as well. David Edelstein took issue with the adaptation and the casting.  Oh, well. I can accept that Lee's not suited to every genre, and Demetri Martin can remain on my TV and lap top screen.

April is away on vacation, which is why we didn't have our usual "Weekend Viewing" blog feature on Friday.  I was going to write it up in her absence, but I figured why bother?  Given the near universally positive reviews District 9 received from critics, there really wasn't any question what all of us were going to see this weekend, right?  I mean, it was District 9 or nothing.

Well, now that we have all seen it, I can't help but ask... am I the only one who found it ploddingly pessimistic, nihilistic, and... um... what is the word for depicting a general disgust for mankind?

District 9 is about three years too late.  Despite the economic downturn, the election of Obama changed the cultural mood from despair to hope.  There is a reason Star Trek was the only hit this summer!  People want to feel optimism for mankind, not watch a depiction of just how ugly mankind can be.

Whoo! Long weekend. But after last week's bounty, does Ottawa have anything left to watch?

Hurrah! (500) Days of Summer, which Dana Stevens called an "almost a classic romantic comedy," is finally here.  I've only been telling you about it since forever (or since earlier this month or, um, March). As you already know, I think break-up movies make for the best romantic comedies. Add in Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and you know you are going to get my butt in a seat this weekend.

Funny People, which you already know all about due to its omnipresent adverting, also opens everywhere under heaven today. I had been excited about this one until I read some middling reviews this week. A flawed, deeply personal film seems to be the consensus. Ah, I'll probably see it anyway. Eric Bana looks great in it, and we share a birth date. Surely that bond is worth my ten dollars. 

Could it be? Are there movies worth seeing playing again in Ottawa? Saints be praised!

The Hurt Locker is playing in Ottawa! I repeat, critically-acclaimed, award-winning, best-damn-Iraq-war-movie-yet The Hurt Locker is finally here!  Consider the question of what to do this rainy Friday night resolved. You're spending it with Jeremy Renner and Kathryn Bigelow. You're welcome! The plot revolves around an expolsives ordinance disposal unit, and, uh, yeah. That's what you're getting.

The Brothers Bloom, Rian Johnson's sophmore feature, is finally here as well.  We dig our Rian Johnson at (Cult)ure, so we'll be checking this one out even if the critical reception has been less than warm. It's an one last heist movie, but it involves Rachel Weisz as a recluse that collects hobbies and the only good part of Babel, Rinko Kikuchi.

Last Saturday, the Mayfair theatre in Ottawa held its first all-night movie marathon.  Be sure to check out our Youtube Picks this week for a glimpse at what was screened.

I don't suppose they call it July 2-4 in the US, do they?

Ugh, I am once again at a loss for what to recommend to you. Having seen Public Enemies, I can personally attest that it's pretty but boring. If you're into that (and I believe one of our esteemed film critics is), then it delivers the goods. Also, if you are into hot people looking fly in period costume (which I am), it delivers the goods par excellence.